by Mel cross posted from her blog When Cows and Kids Collide
All quotes from the book in blue text.
I’m going to try a different format for the boys this time. Since the quotes are arranged thematically, I’m going to present them this way instead of by author.
Chapter Eight has the fewest quotes of the whole book. There are exactly two quotes about how girl’s relationship with her father makes her a potential romantic partner.
According to “Rex, reformer”
- This paragraph is a great example of setting vague guidelines so that men and women are free to judge other people without guilt or shame. There is no recognized societal guidelines for “good deportment” in front of men.
- Rex sounds like the type of guy who enforces the “gatekeeper” model of female sexuality. After all, good girls don’t attract men while acting stable and responsible. At the same time, good girls are willing able to be the blank sounding boards that men need to spout off their deep knowledge and theological insights.
- These stories make me wistful for the guys I hung out with during high school. There was none of this silly purity nonsense. If I liked a guy or he liked me, we flirted and hung out. If there was no romantic leanings, we’d just hang out. My opinion was valued because of my intelligence and friendliness rather than being denigrated because I was a woman. The guys were perfectly OK with me telling them that their ideas sucked when they did; how else would we learn or become friends?
- Joseph’s general advice is alright; the devil is in the details.
- Being around someone who is dismissive and makes belittling statements is unpleasant and not a good relationship basis.
- The larger red flag that Joseph completely overlooks is why the girl stiffens up and rapidly changes the topic of conversation when a parent appears. That’s not a normal reaction for a teenager who finds their parents annoying. It’s a normal response, however, in an abusive relationship. I’m not saying that a girl being nervous is enough for a CPS call, but she needs a friend all the more at this point.
- Another problem: This cannot work among adults. Since adults meet other adults outside of the view of their parents, trying to suss out the parental-child relationship is silly.
- I call Paul as a Botkin Boy. My reason is the fact that women are apparently too daft to figure out if they are flirting on their own, that adult women (like mothers) have no role in watching daughter’s’ behaviors, and that fathers and brothers are always the best and most impartial judge of female behaviors.
- I’m completely over this obsession with protecting men from flirty girls. If Christian Patriarchy is really about male leaders who are ordained by God, then women shouldn’t be able to mess them up so badly by fluttering an eyelash or a teasing comment.
From “James, producer”:
- Does James ever wonder what the girls think about those judgy guys?
- Presumably, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth are sampling guys who run in the same CP/QF circles that they do; I can’t imagine that they are allowed to talk freely with men who aren’t. With that assumption, I can’t figure out how any guy got to know any girl well enough to decide that she’s needy, clingy or emotionally unstable. In this book, talk between genders is supposed to be stilted and educational; I can’t imagine that “What do you think of Pastor Blah Blah’s sermon on the Book of James” causes girls to start screaming or crying mid-conversation.
Again from “James”
- I think I’m starting to get the mindset. Girls should be asexual, non-romantic automatons who are willing to interact with any man who comes there way with deep, spiritual conversations that let the boy feel like a real man.
- The sheer amount of judgement being passed during every second of interaction with girls is staggering. I can’t imagine how James is able to have an intelligent conversation with a woman if he is simultaneously deciding how her posture, gaze, dress, tone and word choice shows her heart.
- Oh, snap. I just realized I assumed James talks to girls. Silly me; James is probably as much of a bitter wallflower as Anna Sofia and Elizabeth were toward Sheila when they were girls. It’s so much easier to negatively judge women when they are talking to the more social, less judgmental men and leaving you all by your lonesome self.
- As I read this book, I’m understanding why CP/QF families need to guard against outsiders. If their kids met the sheer number of people that the average American kid meets between school, a sports team or two and another social activity (church, music etc.), the kids would realize how absurd the assumption that you can read a heart through things like dress and posture. Most kids realize how false that idea is by the end of junior high.
From “Timothy, shepherd”
- Timothy is really into the term “lust of the eyes”. I think he’s used it in every quote so far.
- I imagine – although James, Timothy et al. are missing this – that the “girl’s attitude” is highly correlated with the guy’s intentions or attraction towards her.
- If Timmy-boy is struggling with lust, every girl is going to have a deeply impure nature according to Timmy.
- Timmy is ready to get married and wants to court Janey soon. He’s loving those pure-hearted hugs, smiles and conversations because Janey’s so pure at heart!
- Timmy is ready to get married and wants to court Janey soon. Too bad Janey’s not that into him. Tricia is into Timmy, though, but Timmy is hating those hugs, smiles and conversations because clearly Tricia’s heart is not pure.
Total Quote Count by pseudonym:
Chas – 1
David – 1
Edward – 1
Jack – 2
James – 5
Paul – 6
Philip – 1
Rex – 2
Robert – 3
Timothy – 4
Hmm….James, Paul and Timothy seem to be pulling into the lead. Next post is more quotes from da boys.
Mel is a science teacher who works with at-risk teens and lives on a dairy farm with her husband. She blogs at When Cows and Kids Collide She is also an very valuable source of scientific information for us here at NLQ. Mel is also blessed with the ability to look at the issues of Quiverfull with a rational mind and break them down to their most basic of elements.
Stay in touch! Like No Longer Quivering on Facebook:
Copyright notice: If you use any content from NLQ, including any of our research or Quoting Quiverfull quotes, please give us credit and a link back to this site. All original content is owned by No Longer Quivering and Patheos.com
Read our hate mail at Jerks 4 Jesus