Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 – Foolish Child Needs More Adulting?

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 2 – Foolish Child Needs More Adulting? June 9, 2016

quotingquiverfullby Michael and Debi Pearl from No Greater Joy – What to Do with a Foolish Child?

Editor’s note: We left this yesterday with a grandmother upset that her grandchild was behaving in a childish manner plus being upset that the boy is fat in her opinion. Michael gave his answer, which involved accusing the parents of letting the child play video games and be left to his foolish devices. Today Debi answers and it isn’t much better. I’m just surprised that neither of the Pearls mentioned giving him a switching. This advice today isn’t bad, but you know that the idea of a beating is lurking just behind this.

Debi Pearl:  I think I would say to him, “You know, your daddy, was my little boy. Your daddy is such a fine man. Your daddy never, never did that when he was growing up.” “He was far too wise to do a thing like that. I think maybe you should not do that any more, because it makes you look so foolish and silly.” I think I would say that to the child.

Michael:  If he gets, if people laugh at him or have an emotional response that recognizes his presence, he’ll keep on doing it. You should shun that kind of response. Turn your back on it. Say something about it negative. Let him know that he’s not going be loved. He’s not going to be looked at. He’s not going to be enjoyed when he’s acting like that.

As soon as he acts normal, show attention, show affection, enjoy him, do things that he can participate with. You have a negative response to his negative actions. You have a positive response to his positive actions. He’ll see that and he’ll change.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nea

    “Let him know he’s not going to be loved.” Pearl advice in a nutshell.

  • TaggarungAk

    It’s so sad.

  • Antoinette Herrera

    Shorter Michael and Debi Pearl: Let your grandson know that your love is conditional, and break him until he meets your conditions.

  • Astrin Ymris

    If we’re talking about a neurotypical child, refusing to acknowledge problematic actions can be a powerful weapon for changing undesired behavior. However, extinction doesn’t include verbal abuse; that’s still a parental reaction, and thus reinforcing.

    If this seven-year-old has special needs, they need to consult a specialist in the field.

  • AuntKaylea

    I have to admit that I wondered if he might be having dental issues and trying to cover it with silliness and humor.

  • Allison the Great

    “Let him know he’s not going to be loved” Wow. I must admit there were some very unspeakable expletives that crossed my mind when I thought of a grandmother saying that to a kid. Again, these people seem like they hate children and only want them around to populate the earth. That’s it. They don’t enjoy children, they despise them.

    This advice should be titled “How to be the most mean-spirited Grandmother ever”.

  • Nightshade

    ‘Let him know that he’s not going be loved.’ I think he’s already figured that out, and is probably settling for attention as a very poor but better than nothing substitute.

  • B.E. Miller

    Or something else maybe? Because your dental comment reminded me of why I hate having that numbing stuff on my right side. I mean no pain is good, but… it seems to stick around on that side the whole day. And then I drool on that side afterwards for the rest of the day. I have gone to work (retail) after and I’m constantly dabbing at the corner of my mouth in front of customers.

    Perhaps there’s something neurological happening?

  • AuntKaylea

    And if his childhood is anything like mine, he is probably scared to ask for help with something like that.

    I remember asking for eye glasses as a teenager, and my parents did not think I needed them, so they never took me to an eye doctor for an exam when my brothers did. It was yet one more thing that I got help with when I left home at age 18. I can still hear the eye doctor asking me why I didn’t come in sooner, because the strain on my eyes had made the astigmatisms worse.

  • B.E. Miller

    Upvoting to show sympathy, not upvoting that your parents didn’t bother to get you an eye exam.

  • AnonCar

    Somehow I think Debi’s advice to negatively compare the grandchild to his father will backfire spectacularly in the grandchild’s teenage years.