by Zsuzsanna Anderson from Are They All Yours? – So You’re Married to a Jerk….
Editor’s note: Here Zsu says even if you haven’t whipped up some fantasy man in your mind that your husband could never live up to, if the guy is really a horrible abusive jerk you can never divorce him because Bible. Really? God apparently wants you to stay with an abuser. That explains a good deal about certain female cultural enforcers lives, now doesn’t it?
What I am trying to say is this – what one woman calls a jerk, may at another time have been someone she loved. Or he may be someone that another woman (who doesn’t live with him) would consider lovable. The way we perceive people is the way we want to perceive them. One could just as easily will oneself into thinking highly of one’s spouse and children. It is our own choice to focus on the negative, or the positive attributes.The reality of the matter is that we all have a tendency to piecemeal our ideal spouses. We want a husband who fixes stuff around the house like husband A, is considerate like husband B, looks like husband C, makes as much money as husband D, fathers like husband E, and so on – you get the idea. Nevermind the fact that husbands A-E all have different faults from one another, none of which we would want to put up with any more than the faults of our own spouse. Nobody could live up to such unrealistic expectations, therefore, disappointment is inevitable. This disappointment will turn into bitterness, anger, and eventually hatred for that “jerk” husband. It is really just a matter of how we look at him. I’m pretty sure that the mother of this “bad husband” would look at that same man (her son) and think very different of him – yet it’s the same person. Choosing to love him makes all the difference.Besides all that, my personal observation has been that those who complain about their spouses all the time, or think to themselves what a jerk he is, really are not a pleasant person to be around themselves. Maybe it’s them who is the problem?
Just hypothetically, let’s assume that a sweet, godly lady marries a nice godly guy. After they are married, completely out of the blue, he changes personalities and turns out to be a complete jerk. What should she do? Does she have any “recourse”?Based on the Bible, I believe that divorce is always wrong, whether or not the wife is able to survive on her own financially, whether or not there are children involved, etc.Even if the Bible didn’t spell that out so clearly, looking around at divorced homes I would have to come to the conclusion that a bad spouse is still better than a divorce. Divorcees suffer the emotional consequences of a divorce for a lifetime, and their children usually suffer even more. I have seen this countless times in people I have come into contact with.
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