by Lori Alexander from Always Learning – Unloved and Insecure Husbands
Editor’s note: While I agree loving your husband deeply when he’s struggling is a good response I think that Lori is missing the best solutions of all, that have nothing to do with divorce – MARRIAGE COUNSELING – MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS – even things like men’s accountability groups or right type pastoral counseling. As usual Lori advises suffering in silence and submitting harder instead of trying to figure what the real underlining problem is and taking legitimate proven steps to solve it. In fundamental quiverfull town is all or nothing, submit/suffer/smile/pray or get a divorce.
I’ve told this tale here before but it bears repeating. Years ago my husband became very depressed for no discernible reason. Had I followed Mrs. Alexander’s advice he would be dead now. One physical examination later it was discovered he had a tumor on his parathyroid glands. It didn’t involve the fact his mother worked, or that I wasn’t submissive enough (told that by a ‘Christian’ counselor), it was a physical disease that would have eventually taken his life. Tumors removed and the depression lifted. If your husband is going through any of the things she describes here please take ever action you can to rule out other things before deciding it’s your fault for not being submissive enough.
One of the interesting things about Lori Alexander besides her propensity support beating your children is her constant cries of persecution when people call her out on her toxic advice. Anyone that speaks out publicly must be ready to receive some pushback. Also, how is republishing someone’s own words ‘trashing’ them?
Unloved, insecure husbands and wives are becoming rampant these days due to mothers working outside of the home. When they were babies, the one person who was supposed to love and care for them the most wasn’t around often. Therefore, they spent the majority of their days with others, many times it was with strangers. Unfortunately, these babies usually grew up not knowing how to love or bond with others.How does a wife deal with a husband who was not loved or cared for in the way that he should have been? How does she help with his insecurities, mental instabilities, and inability to love as he should? She loves him deeply; this is how. When she took the vow to marry him, she vowed for better or worse, through sickness and health until death do they part. If all women who were married to men like this and wanted a divorce, there would be a lot of divorces. Oh wait, there are a lot of divorces.When women ask me these kinds of questions, I always go back to God’s prescription for them, 1 Peter 3:1-6. They continue to be in subjection to their husbands and win them by their godly behavior, not their words. Most underestimate the power of a transformed life to change others. When a husband sees a joyful, loving, and caring wife in spite of his behavior, he will most undoubtedly be drawn to her and want what she has.
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