by Lori Alexander from Always Learning – Disastrous Results With Headship/Submission
Editor’s note: Lori gets an email from someone saying that submission didn’t work for her marriage and she, of course, has to tell the lady that the writer and her husband are doing it wrong. As usual the letter writer is accused of being controlling and not minding her thoughts. Both of those are some of the more damaging ideas in Evangelical Quiverfull.
“He wasn’t ‘leading’ the way I expected him to.” As wives, we don’t get to decide how our husbands lead, just as children don’t get to decide how parents parent, employees don’t decide how their boss leads, etc. The husband is the head over the wife so he is the one that gets to decide how to lead. He is the one who makes the final decisions, without any arguing from his wife. He is the leader of the home and the faster wives appreciate and follow his leadership, the faster peace will reign in the home. Bottom line is she simply didn’t want to give up control. Most women want to control.“Instead of speaking up and speaking my mind” usually means giving “a piece of your mind” to a husband and letting him know exactly how you feel instead of in a gentle and respectful way sharing your thoughts and opinions with him and then being content with whatever he decides is best. As a result of biting her tongue, she became critical and judgmental of her husband which is wrong. Biting her tongue is good but it shouldn’t be with negative thoughts. If wrong thoughts come into your mind about your husband, get rid of them quickly and dwell on the good and lovely instead.
Stay in touch! Like No Longer Quivering on Facebook:
Copyright notice: If you use any content from NLQ, including any of our research or Quoting Quiverfull quotes, please give us credit and a link back to this site. All original content is owned by No Longer Quivering and Patheos.com
Read our hate mail at Jerks 4 Jesus