Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – How Can I Be Friendly Without Being Flirtatious?

Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ – How Can I Be Friendly Without Being Flirtatious? August 10, 2016

AnsweringAnother installment of giving better answers to the questions asked at Debi Pearl’s site message board for the book ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’. Many young ladies ask questions on all sorts of different subjects brought up by the book. There was just one big problem, many of the answers stray into either the outright bad and emotionally unhealthy to dangerous. Yes, typical Debi Pearl borderline abusive. Here’s what we’re going to be doing here at NLQ. Every week, once or twice a week, I’ll be posting up one of the questions from the message board and ask you, our readers, to answer that poor soul’s question in a way that is logical,  rational and the best possible solution, in other words 180 degree turn from Debi and friends answers. As always all spelling and grammar in the posting is unchanged from the original author.

How can I be friendly without being flirtatious?

Hi there! So this is proving hard to ask…I’m going to give it a try though. I’m 19 years old, attend a great church, and am involved in the ministry for young adults of my age group. There are several guys who appear to be Godly and honorable, and whom I would really like to get to know. I don’t have brothers, and have never spent a great deal of time around guys-especially those younger 40. : ) Other girls seem to know how to be friendly without crossing the line into inappropriate conduct, or appearing flirtatious.

Can you give me any pointers on how to be a friendly, cheerful member of the group without being too forward? I don’t want to be stiff, or shy, nor do I want to send the wrong message. (That I’m chasing them, etc.)

Thank you! I really appreciate the input you give. I have read Preparing several times, including with my family, and like it immensely. Now, if only I could conquer my awkwardness and be someone guys want to hang out with! God bless you richly. Can’t wait to hear from you.

The answers are pretty silly, avoid any appearance of anything that might be taken the wrong way and no touching, no discussion of emotions and no ‘girly’ behavior. There has to be better answers for this girl that those. What would you tell her?

moreLast week’s Answering: Online Dating Advice

Random Answering: Teaching or Giving Friendly Advice

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  • gimpi1

    This isn’t rocket-science. Just be yourself. Talk to people who you want to talk to, about things that interest you. If you feel like flirting a bit, that’s fine. Flirting isn’t some big commitment, it’s just a bit of social fun. Don’t worry about “touching.” It’s normal to shake hands, pat people on the back, hug friends and such.

    I really feel that one of the motto’s of the quiverful movement is, “Complicate your life.” Another motto is, “We need more rules about everything.