Back to Stage One Healing: More on Safety and Stabilization

Back to Stage One Healing: More on Safety and Stabilization August 2, 2016

Header stage 1 with titleby Cindy Kunsman cross posted from her blog from Under Much Grace

All images by Cindy Kunsman and from Under Much Grace used with permission. Article 3 pages total.

It’s been quite a month, and life is settling back into something like normal. Redeeming Dinah, the blog exploring the Duggar Phenomenon as a function of the family agenda promoted among many Independent Fundamental Baptists is up and running. It’s been a month since the panel where survivors of the system talked about their experiences. Afterwards, I returned home from Dallas to be met with a couple of deaths of loved ones, some injuries, and the sadness that goes along with them. The dog days of summer do not make matters any easier.

It’s now been several months (!) since a post about the stages of trauma, and I have plenty more material upon which to draw to illustrate the journey of healing. I aspired to take the high road through a miserable process of injustice and gossip from people whom I respect and to show them love. I think I’ve learned lessons about anger and love, about people who are unsafe, about how difficult it can be to figure out all of that, and more. I’m reminded that the people who mean the most to me whose opinions really matter are all that really matter, even though gossip can do much damage.
Yet, I am caught up in the process of wondering if I could have done anything differently, even though I know that most of what transpired and most of what troubles me lies outside of my sphere of control. And that’s disturbing, and I think that it should be.  I still have to make peace with that and take some of my own advice about making peace with those relationships we all have that have no happy endings or satisfying resolutions.
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  • Abigail Smith

    I think that healing from spiritual/emotional trauma is not at all linear, or connect the dots to get from A to Z.
    Maybe if you don’t think of it as “back to stage 1” but instead re-visiting the foundations. For example, I do this with my yoga practice…sometimes I choose an online class that is meant for beginners even though I have been doing yoga for years. It really reinforces what I’ve learned and I always learn something new. Maybe there is something else you needed from the beginning but are now ready for. All this to say, you sound very disappointed and negative about yourself. I”m trying to reframe it in a positive way. 🙂