Quoting Quiverfull: Part 3 – Bad Marriages Are Like Bad Health?

Quoting Quiverfull: Part 3 – Bad Marriages Are Like Bad Health? August 23, 2016

quotingquiverfullby Michael and Debi Pearl from No Greater Joy Magazine – Seven Pearls for Finding a Happy Marriage

Editor’s note: Skipping the next ‘pearl’ – which was forgive each other. Anyone that’s been married any length of time can tell you that not taking offense, learning to say I’m sorry and forgiving the other partner are essential in good marriages. But even those essentials are off the table if one partner is abusive. If someone is beating you, or perhaps just driving you to crab and cook without a moment of downtime you should just get the heck away from them, not worry about forgiveness or taking offense.

But this little toxic part really blows my mind. It’s that horrible thought control run amok that is practiced in Quiverfull. Sometimes daydreams can be a refreshing escape from the harsh realities of day to day without blowing up your life like its suggested below. Daydreaming can be the creative fuel that drives arts like writing, painting, and a host of other arts. Bolding is from the original. What do you think?

Don’t Daydream

Don’t live in a daydream of thinking you could do better with a different spouse. Many simply believe a lie, and their thought life slowly erodes their real life. It is time to be honest with yourself. You are not a wonderful, beautiful, craved-after world-changer married to a deadbeat. Rather your daydreams are just silly, embarrassing sin. It is Satan’s ludicrous implant to make you believe you have missed the life you were meant to have. Such an imagination breeds discontent. Get control of what you think about. STOP daydreaming and start thinking constructive, practical, wholesome, creative, and godly things. Your thoughts are the seeds of tomorrow’s harvest. Your spouse is not holding you back from being all that you were meant to be. Your own foolish thought life is what holds you in bondage, and the devil sees, laughs, mocks, and continues to feed your foolish ideas. Get honest and your marriage will prosper. Know this: soul mates (people who seem to mesh, create, thrive, and grow) are not born, they are crafted. They become what they are together by choosing to focus on making each other happy and successful.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

Part 1 | Part 2

moreRead more about marriage ideas in Quiverfull:

Compromise in Marriage is Sinful?


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  • Nea

    I rather wish you had posted the “forgive each other” post. I would have liked the opportunity to point out how often Debi says she “just knows” that Mikey is sorry for something he did to her (like force her to deal with rancid rabbit corpses) because he has NEVER *actually apologized* to her.

    Daydreams — I can see how destructive that would be to their philosophy. We know Debi has regrets — Mikey’s disdain for “steady men” and warnings about how boring it is to be married to one are as oddly specific as Debi’s daydream — yes, daydream — that any divorcee will become a lesbian living in a duplex.

    And what about Mikey’s daydream of power and glory and riches, the one where his bipolar daughter has “great wealth” instead of obvious poverty, and where all the secular people rely on the product of his practices of isolation, homeschooling, and beating instead of those children rising up to speak against him? Or are daydreams only bad when women wonder what it would be like to have married the quiet guy who wouldn’t uproot the whole family in a flight from CPS or make you publicly beg for food and medical expenses?

  • AuntKaylea

    So reading this made me finally understand why there was the whole “Disney is evil” campaign. It is because Disney gives flight to imagination. I prefer Einstein’s “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” and Pascal’s “Imagination decides everything.”

    So not only is this system opposed to knowledge (as demonstrated by Mel’s prior post), but is also opposed to imagination. This might as well say “never innovate/be creative.” Daydreaming for me is the gateway to authentic prayer.

    Aside to share a bright spot on the topic of imagination: Netflix is going to do a new version of Anne of Green Gables – directed by the same person who directed Whale Rider. I am so excited! This is pretty much my life’s philosophy: “Isn’t it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive–it’s such an interesting world. It wouldn’t be half so interesting if we know all about everything, would it? There’d be no scope for imagination then, would there?” -L.M. Montgomery in Anne of Green Gables