by John Piper of Desiring God and The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood as lifted and reposted by Lori Alexander’s blog Always Learning – The Cost of Covenant Keeping Love
Editor’s note: Wow, talk about dangerous tripe, this entire piece, including the parts I did not quote for brevity’s sake. There’s even a section where it says you can never consider divorce, ever ever, that you must erase the word from your mind. What this ‘stay married’ post does not take into account are the many marriages that are abusive, either physically or mentally, the marriages that flounder because there is no earthly way for either partner to meet the needs of the family and a myriad of other awful reasons why staying married is worse and more harmful than a divorce. I guess if your husband beats you to death or you die in childbirth at least you’re considered a righteous martyr in this theology. Fat lot of good that does you or the children you leave behind when you are dead.
Maximizing your earthly happiness is not the goal of marriage. Maximizing your eternal happiness is, because God said — this is really crucial, I think, of marriage. Romans 5:3 and following; Rejoice in tribulation because tribulation works patience and patience works a provenness (sic – according to Websters this is not a real word, either as a transitive or intransitive verb) and a provenness works hope and this hope does not disappoint. In other words, marriage may disappoint with a thousand tribulations, but hope filled obedience to God will never, never disappoint us, God says so. Hope does not disappoint. But escaping tribulation, the tribulation that obedience calls for, escaping tribulation that is not hope promised, hope filled, it is not the path to greatest hope or greatest joy. It is good and it is right to want things to change now. Oh, yes, we all do. We want things about our spouses and ourselves to change now. And I think that is why Peter wrote 1 Peter 3:1-7 for wives in particular, because these words are meant to help a woman know how to think about changing her husband, in this case an unbelieving husband. And she should pray earnestly for him and for the whole situation. But don’t stake your greatest happiness on his change. If you do that, you will probably become demanding and nagging and angry, all of which will be self-defeating. So focus your main heart energies not on fixing his failures, but on deepening your own godly responses to those failures. God does not hold you accountable for your husband’s sins but he does hold you accountable for the godliness of your responses to those sins.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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