Quoting Quiverfull: You Harm Your Kids When You Complain About Motherhood?

Quoting Quiverfull: You Harm Your Kids When You Complain About Motherhood? August 18, 2016

quotingquiverfullby Rebecca Brandt of Mom’s Mustard Seeds – Stop Saying Being a Mom is Hard

Editor’s note: Another want-to-be female cultural enforcer claiming that we have to be joyous and happy all the time or bad things will happen. Bad things, along with good things,  happen no matter what you do, think, project, feel, or experience. This is the number one toxic thing in Quiverfull – completely deny your emotions, shut up and smile. Being positive in your day to day attitudes isn’t a bad thing, but to insist everyone do it to the extreme degree is emotionally unhealthy.

The way we think impacts our hearts. TRULY! If we get up every morning dreading the day, we will not live the day in a way that glorifies God. Instead, we will stumble through the moments in despair and defeat. But, as children of God, we are called to walk in freedom, love, grace and mercy. We are to serve others and place ourselves last. Through doing that, we are setting a beautiful example to our children.

It’s easy to get caught up in the negativity of the world. If you read book after book (or blog post after blog post) about how hard life is, how hard being a mom is, how hard being a working mom is, how hard being a stay at home mom is, how hard anything is, you will remain stuck there.

And if we constantly write about it, what seeds will we be planting in the hearts of your children? If and/or when they read our words, will they think we are blaming  them for the problems in our lives? What are we saying to God if we are constantly complaining about our life, husband, children, friends, etc?

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.

moreRead more about toxic control of emotions:

No Negative Thoughts or Words Allowed


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Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement by Kathryn Joyce

13:24 – A Story of Faith and Obsession by M Dolon Hickmon


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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Nea

    She’s right in that having a constant bad attitude is not good or healthy for anyone and everyone around them. But that’s a sign that things should be changed, not that someone should learn to slap a smile and happy attitude over complaining anyway. (Gold medal in this goes to Mikey and Debi Pearl, who are as nasty as nasty could be about each other while claiming to have a “divine” marriage.)

  • Aloha

    “If we get up every morning dreading the day, we will not live the day in a way that glorifies God.”
    … or …
    “If we get up every morning dreading the day, that’s a pretty bad sign.”

  • Abigail Smith

    My abusive mother lived in that state of mind. It was hell.
    There is a HUGE difference in healthy expression of normal emotions for things that are hard versus pretending everything is ok.
    One of my children has Autism. My other children have seen me cry when he came after me, or when I was frustrated. I have never been able to pretend everything was ok. and they’ve also had long discussions with me about how hard life can be with their brother. They are strong and mentally healthy and not afraid to say when they are upset or frustrated.
    The normal expression of difficult feelings by the mother shows the children that yes, life can be hard, but we can deal with it, and it will prepare them if they decide to have children..it’s not easy to be a mother. Why pretend that it is not hard?
    Children are so perceptive, and this kind of QF thinking is dangerous. I think it actually perpetuates deception..which it is…pretending that everything is roses when it’s not.