Quoting Quiverfull: Social Media Competition in the CPM World?

Quoting Quiverfull: Social Media Competition in the CPM World? September 20, 2016

quotingquiverfullby Jessica Smartt from Smartter Each Day – How Instagram is Killing Our Souls (Basically)

Editor’s note: Sharing this not because the writer is a homeschooling Evangelical mom who lines up with Quiverfull theology, but more as a real confession of that thing that can happen and be so devastating in the world of Quiverfull – comparing yourself to others and feeling like you don’t measure up. It’s what’s toxic and soul-destroying, not looking at Instagram or Facebook, the endless measuring of yourself against others that goes on mentally. Being free of that mindset to the point where you can look at your pals on social media that are doing those things and instead of thinking ‘Oh I am not doing that so I must really be a failure!’ you think ‘That’s so awesome! Good for them!’ and feel no need to add the stress of competition or not good enough to your life. Be happy for others doing interesting things. But know that many folks relentlessly cataloging their lives on social media are only showing the good moments, not the valleys, but the valleys are still there.

The need for connection and belonging is so deep that all this just makes me feel so sad for the writer. She’s beating herself up for no good reason at all. Please don’t fall into this trap!

And of course, summer is a great time to be active, to get in shape. While I myself was nursing a head cold that seemed to last about 47 days, my sisters were doing Burn Boot Camp at 5:15 EVERY SINGLE MORNING. People were running triathlons, and hiking 14-ers. So this made it worse. In addition to being a bad, bad Homeschool Mom, I was obviously lazy. Summer should have been a perfectly good time to finally make homemade kefir, or eat the organic kale I had ostensibly grown. But I was behind there, too.

And maybe the most painful part. Since, you know, I was already in a funk about Life, it made sense that I suddenly and tragically had no friends. I mean, I had thought I had friends. But come to think of it, where was MY BFF hashtag?!? WELL I DIDN’T HAVE ONE!!! And when was the last time we’d double dated with someone?? Why, it had been ages!!!! And goodness gracious, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD was having these exotic getaways with their 14 Bestest Ultimate Friends, and WHERE WERE MY 14 BEST FRIENDS GOING?????

And here was the irony of it all. While I had / have a wonderful life right in front of me, I kept picking up that stupid phone and making myself depressed. Like an addict. It was killing me. It was killing my soul. But I couldn’t resist! I kept scrolling, and feeling worse and worse.

Finally one day, I realized that, somehow, as a 34-year-old Formerly Mature and Positive Human Being, I had lost myself.

QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully

moreRead more by Jessica Smartt:

Spanking ‘Strong Willed’ Children

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  • Nea

    It’s too tempting for everyone for look at what looks like a fun, effortless life others have and think “I’m screwing up because I don’t have that.” And the thing is, really, neither do they; we just don’t see the trade offs and the worries.

    Fundamentalism amps that up past 11 because everyone is expected to be Just! So! Happy! or they’re making the baby Jesus cry with their poor “testimony.” Look at how many of the cultural enforcers go on about regulating thoughts and controlling emotions — only to end up as public train wrecks when too many skeletons get crammed into that closet and they all fall out.

  • Astrin Ymris

    Within the Rescue Adoption blogspace, there seems to be a strong taboo against sharing any information which might “discourage adoption”– including admitting how many behavior problems children adopted from “the hard places” come with.

  • Nea

    Thereby setting up both child and putative new parents up for guaranteed failure. Nice.

  • Mollywog

    This makes me sad. When you cut yourself off from a very large portion of mainstream type people, you have a very limited pool of people to form friendships with. One of my BFFs is a gay black dude. We’ve been friends for 30 years and I hate to think that I might never have known him if I were a member of an evangelical religion.
    And yeah, maybe those people are just better spin doctors.