As many of you know NLQ used to quote Let Them Marry.org patriarch Vaughn Ohlman many times for our Quoting Quiverfull feature. We regularly quoted Von right up until the time the Girls Are Like Apples meme popped up on his website with some toxic ideas about protecting daughters.
Shortly after that it came to the attention of the world that Vaughn was planning a ‘Get Them Married’ retreat in Kansas this Fall. The internet and the world roared out their distaste once they read the words from Mr. Ohlman’s own site declaring that fathers were to pick husbands for their daughters and any child developing breasts was old enough for marriage. Ohlman was left with no place to hold his child sex trafficking like function.
In recent months we’ve been doing a review of his betrothal-only book ‘What are you Doing?’ and a Sunday night live reading of the book on the NLQ Facebook page. While we knew this was not Vaughn’s only book, it was one of the few easily obtainable. In fact, Ohlman has claimed that his first daughter in law, Laura Camp Ohlman, ordered the book and after reading it was convinced that this was how she was to be married, getting her father to contact Vaughn and arrange a betrothal for her with Von’s oldest son Joshua. They only got to meet for a few hours before marrying.
Recipe for horrible disaster. Most of the book is just poorly written, boring as hell and very repetitive.
Shortly after doing a review of chapter 12 this last week we were sent a link to one of Ohlman’s old removed from the internet sites with more toxic ideas on it and we decided perhaps the time had come to do some deep kimchee style Googling on Vaughn’s writings. Which led us to an adult fanfiction site with a girl on girl fiction written in response to one of Von’s fictional stories. It is called – Cathy Goes Shoujo – nsfw warning: some cringe inducing bad semi-sex scenes including comparing a sexually excited nipple to a pop up turkey timer.
The author mentions this was a companion piece to not only Vaughn’s fiction but to another piece of writing by someone named Russell Gold. His fiction is named ‘Take a Lemon’ and is on its own site. Not read much of ‘Take a Lemon’ because it seems rather dull from the first paragraph.
One of the first rules of writing fiction is that you should be able to draw and hold the reader’s interest from paragraph one. Even if you have to use some old overused chestnut like ‘It was a dark and stormy night, but the blood still rolled down my leg’ to grab the reader. You should attempt to immerse the reader into the fiction world completely, it must be believable even if it is fiction. George R. R. Martin did this well with ‘Game of Thrones’ and in the realm of science fiction, which much of this series seems to be, Isaac Asimov mastered.
What is very interesting about ‘Take a Lemon’ is the fact that Vaughn Ohlman is listed as the ‘beta’ reader for this piece and that it inspired him to write his own version/companion piece named ‘Scrabbled’
Can anyone tell me what fandom these characters come from? I don’t have a clue.
The main idea behind ‘Scrabbled’ is that a teenage boy one day wakes up suddenly morphed into a teenage girl, complete with breasts, vagina and raging hormones. So far 15 chapters are all I could stomach of this, but in those 15 chapters there are lots of ridiculous ideas about women that benefit no one. There’s crying, hysteria, tantrums thrown over bra-wearing, discussions about long denim skirts, dealing with sexual attraction to one’s best friend, periods, shadowy cruel government agents, conspiracies, rifts in the space-time continuum, and lots of very bad science fiction tropes, all written in the style and depth of a fifth-grader.
Sadly enough while there is a lot of morally squishy stuff in it (hello nudity and cuddling!) so far there does not seem to be any real pornography. But in some fundamentalist Christian circles the act of writing sci fi is considered scandalous enough without even a mention of nudity. Von’s rebellion.
I would advise if you plan on reading this to do it snappy. Von has a habit of creating sites and then taking them down rapidly when it’s pointed out that his theology is not only toxic but might also violate sex trafficking laws and age of consent laws.
He’s taken down his book site. Which listed a bunch of sci-fi he’s written:
…and he did it to his theology site Von’s Takes after the whole marrying off teen girls conference was cancelled.
This just illustrates an important principal of the internet. If you are going to write embarrassing bad fiction or anything else that might come back to bite you intensely on your derrière you are better off using a nom de plume instead of your real name. The Wayback Machine and screen caps are forever. Enjoy.
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