NLQ Question of the Week: Why is the Wife Blamed When a Man Cheats?

NLQ Question of the Week: Why is the Wife Blamed When a Man Cheats? October 6, 2016

QuestionoftheweekThis is a series we run every Thursday. The questions are things that people who may not know much about the Quiverfull movement or even Fundamentalist or Evangelical Christianity ask about the lifestyle. Examining some of the questions involving long held Quiverfull theology and life can only shine a light on the toxic nature of this lifestyle choice.

Today’s topic comes about because of a comment posted on yesterday’s article about the Duggar’s attending and teaching at a marriage retreat. Someone new to NLQ said about Anna Duggar:

I hope Anna never has a days peace.

The implication being that Anna, who was sold into a marriage without a real idea of what she was getting into, was somehow at fault for Josh’s infidelities.

The person that attended the marriage retreat and observed the Duggars spoke about how sad and weepy Anna seemed and how neither Michelle or Jim Bob Duggar had anything to say to her. Michelle taught yet again on the subject that a wife must immediately put down everything and put out sex to keep her husband from straying.

This morning I saw disturbing echos of this same sentiment over at Lori Alexander’s new blog The Transformed Wife. She was talking about evil seductive women taking your husband and how to safeguard against that. Another woman thinking if you’re just sweet enough giving out enough of the right type of groveling, worshiping and sex he will not cheat.

But the truth is that men who cheat are not cheating because of something their wives did or did not do. They cheat because they decide their desires are more important than fidelity to their wives. So why does the CPM always place the blame on the wife instead of the person who made the decision to cheat in the first place?

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