Questioning the Pearls: Sissy Sensitive Son?

Questioning the Pearls: Sissy Sensitive Son? October 9, 2016

QuestioningthePearlsFor well over a year we’ve been running a second Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ on Sundays, filled with questions by young ladies trying to get ready for marriage. Since we’ve run through many of the questions on their site it’s time to shift Sundays to something else, like perhaps examining the cornucopia of probably fake emails and questions that Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy post on their website and the possibly poisonous answers they give.

Read the original question and answer here.

“I have a ten-year-old son who is more sensitive than most other boys. He is easily offended and does not play well with boys his own age. He is afraid to try new things. I think he is afraid of failing. Just yesterday, a friend of mine told me that I protect my son too much. We talked about it, and she said more. She said he was weak and needed to be tougher. I asked her why she waited so long to tell me this, and she said she was afraid of offending me. I probably would have been offended if it had been anybody else saying what she did to me, but I guess I suspected it before she said it. Nevertheless, it hurt. She suggested I write to you. Is there anything I can do to fix this and make my son tougher?”

She says, “He does not play well with boys his own age.” Then let him play not so well. If they make fun of him or run over him, rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is the reward of toughness. If he comes to you  whining, act amazed and then indifferent. Don’t help him cope. Throw him back into the lion’s den. He needs to learn some survival skills, not retreat skills. If you customarily allow him a path of escape, you make him weak. I would make sure that he gets an extra dose of other kids his age—like it or not―until he likes it.

She says, “He is afraid to try new things.” Then fill his calendar with new things, and throw away all the old. Quit viewing him as incapable, and put him to the challenge. We are all afraid of the new and unknown until we have braved the dark door many times and find excitement and growth on the other side; and then, we willingly look for the door to the unknown. Grass grows by being cut. If you don’t cut it, it will reach a certain height, and then stop growing. Finally, it will fall over and droop, permanently.


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