Questioning the Pearls: Food on the Floor?

Questioning the Pearls: Food on the Floor? November 20, 2016

QuestioningthePearlsFor well over a year we’ve been running a second Answering ‘Preparing To Be A Help Meet’ on Sundays, filled with questions by young ladies trying to get ready for marriage. Since we’ve run through many of the questions on their site it’s time to shift Sundays to something else, like perhaps examining the cornucopia of probably fake emails and questions that Michael and Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy post on their website and the possibly poisonous answers they give.

The question and answer can be found here:

Question:

I was reading one of your articles about emotional self-control. My 3-year-old daughter is constantly throwing her food on the floor. As you can imagine, it makes us very angry. We have yelled at her and given her time-outs (neither of which have worked)! Do you have any suggestions on how we should handle this?

Answer by Michael Pearl:

No, I cannot imagine that her throwing food on the floor makes you angry. You had to tell me that, because getting angry at a child for doing what you trained her to do should never make anyone angry. I suspect very much that you are often angry over many things, not just the child’s behavior. Anger is a personal issue that must be resolved with God’s help. It is not caused by someone else, especially not a small child.
Now that I have scolded you sufficiently, I will tell you how to train the child not to throw food on the floor. This is profound. Don’t pick it up and don’t give her any more food. And don’t show any emotion one way or the other. Just grin, and go about your eating, because you know that you are going to win. When she discovers that this is not a game with two players, that all she is doing is depriving herself of food, she will hang on to every morsel. If she comes to the table hungry and you put before her only what she can and will eat, she will not throw it away. Her innate selfish instincts will lead her to be protective of her food. Now, if you are prone to feed her sweets or greasy snacks between meals and after meals, then I can understand perfectly well why she throws broccoli and spinach on the floor. Smart kid. She is entertained and empowered when you get mad and scream. It’s fine with her as long as she gets the sweets later. But if you limit her food to healthy fare that she only eats at meals, it would not be in her interest to leave the table hungry and have to wait until the next meal.

Small mercies that he never ordered them to beat the child.

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