by Shalom Pearl Brand from No Greater Joy – Bossy Flossy
Editor’s note: This is Shalom’s advice on how to keep one child from being bossy towards the next youngest sibling. The unquoted advice isn’t bad, teach the kids to take turns being ‘the boss’ but this crap about victimhood and tattletails is just vile. These are children we’re talking about and Shalom is making one type of negative childhood traits to be something almost evil.
It is very important that Laila not know I am putting Gracie in her place, for then Laila will assume a victim attitude, whining, “she is hurting me and being mean to me.” The victim attitude is a much worse problem to deal with than a bossy or even mean attitude, for you can train bossy out of them, but the child who is always running to mom to be rescued is so pathetic I would not want to babysit her or my girls to play with her. As the second child, Laila is already subject to the hazards of victimhood, so I do not want to reinforce it by rebuking her bossy sister within her hearing.
My goal is that Laila trust her sister and that Gracie be protective of Laila. Both of these responses are crucial. Gracie cannot be protective of a tattletale sister who has learned that over-telling gets her mastery over her big sister; nor can Laila learn submission from a big sister who uses her authority to rule her unjustly. Keep in mind, of the two bad habits, the over-telling sissy is the greater fault and ugliest trait, one that is perpetuated by Mama always believing her sweet, lying baby.
QUOTING QUIVERFULL is a regular feature of NLQ – we present the actual words of noted Quiverfull leaders, cultural enforcers and those that seek to keep women submitted to men and ask our readers: What do you think? Agree? Disagree? This is the place to state your opinion. Please, let’s keep it respectful – but at the same time, we encourage readers to examine the ideas of Quiverfull and Spiritual Abuse honestly and thoughtfully.
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