The Power of the Transformed Wife – Chapter 2 Lori Loves Telling Others What To Do

The Power of the Transformed Wife – Chapter 2 Lori Loves Telling Others What To Do November 25, 2016

Transformedby Suzanne Titkemeyer

This chapter is all about why Lori feels entitled, and make no mistake it is entitlement even if she will not admit it, to tell everyone else what to do. No big surprise considering she herself said in chapter one that she ‘loved to be in control’ It’s her raison d’etre.

The name of chapter 2 is ‘Why I Mentor Women’ – we get it, you do it because it’s always been your nature to be controlling.

Lori waxes on about Titus 2:3-5 being the true calling of her life and says this:

As believers, we don’t want to do anything that discredits the Bible to those who don’t know the Lord. This verse is my calling from God, and I have loved every minute of teaching its truth.

Like every one Evangelical or Quiverfull Female Cultural Enforcer Lori thinks that only herself and a handful of others have the correct interpretation of Biblical truth.

She says she does not want to turn off anyone that does not believe and then turns around and does exactly that by blaming people’s parents, the desire for higher education, student loans, birth control, the desire to control one’s family size, overpopulation fears and the desire for nice things and decent homes for their inability to know God.

Hee. Yes, that’s exactly how you want to bring people to Jesus, by bashing everything about their lives. *Huge eyeroll* The cognitive dissonance is so strong in this book.

She goes on to do a quick nutshell explanation of why Quiverfull is the way to go. But she does not explain like all the other Quiverfull promoters (Nancy Campbell and Debi Pearl I’m looking at you!) why she didn’t have Michelle Duggar true Quiverfull numbers of children. Very few of the female cultural enforcers in QF have very large families. It’s just their poor followers who do.

Lori goes back and blames parents for not pounding Biblical gender roles knowledge into their children before stating this:

Today the topics I teach about are considered controversial, but regardless to current cultural thought, I take the Bible literally.

It is me or is that ‘to’ between regardless and current sort of an odd word choice? Would not ‘of’ make more sense?

She makes this claim, yet clearly does not take the Bible literally. Lori cherry-picks the verses she thinks apply to her and ignores a great deal of the rest.

The rest of the chapter is a disjointed mish-mash of how men and women are completely different and how if you do not submit to your husband all of the time you are ‘blaspheming’ the word of God. Yeah, I’m seeing some blaspheming in this book and it’s not the readers.

Lori ends the chapter proper with this quote, something we’ve discussed many times at NLQ and largely found it’s an Quiverfull Urban Legend. No one can actually name anyone this worked for.

I have personally witnessed women win their husbands to themselves and the Lord through their submission and godly behavior.

You know what I have witnessed personally with uber submission? Women dying of curable or preventable illnesses. Women without basic needs being met. Women who end up abandoned with a pile of children and no way to provide for them. Women beaten down without any self esteem or inner resources. Names, Lori, cough up names, examples and bonafides or it didn’t happen.

Her blog post at the end of the chapter quotes one of the books by professional old maids Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin and is all about bashing the idea of working outside of the home even while single. Yes, I’m sorry but I only take the advice of people who are actually successful at those things they promote. The Botkins lack of engaging in the things they promote exposes the lie that is their lives.

All of this is making me start to think that perhaps successful people are busy enough with their success that they don’t have the time or desire to write self-help books. At least in the Christian world it’s always the wanna-bes who write advice books.

This chapter reminded me of a recent incident I experienced when my husband and I went to a large dinner at a friends home. One of the guests was busy proclaiming loudly what an intellectual she was through her love of reading. But when I started questioning her reading list the most she could come up with were a collection of very old murder mysteries. She was completely without a clue about many recent books that are being lauded as a great read like ‘Hillbilly Elegy’ or ‘Just Mercy’. Just like the Botkin sisters and others trying to tell others how best to do things without having any real experience at it themselves.

It’s never a good idea to claim to be an expert in something you only have scanty incomplete knowledge of. There’s always someone out there that knows more than you, who can see through your lame excuses.

Next week the chapter has the title ‘Let It Go!’ and isn’t as pleasant or realistic as the Disney movie ‘Frozen’. It’s about stopping trying to control your husband and Lori explains her pretty extreme dietary beliefs. I guess she skipped the part of the Bible that gives the advice of moderation in all things and not to worry about what you eat.

Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2


Suzanne Titkemeyer is the admin at No Longer Quivering. She’s been out of the Quiverfull Evangelical world for nine years now and lives in the beautiful Piedmont section of Virginia with her retired husband and assorted creatures. She blogs at Every Breaking Wave and True Love Doesn’t Rape

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