I’ve talked a lot about my conscious choice never to have children (to be childfree by choice), but I’ve changed my mind. And that’s OK.
I haven’t posted anything about being childfree in quite some time, and that’s because I’ve been quietly rethinking my position. It’s a difficult subject to change my mind on, especially because so many detractors have predicted it. But I have to be honest with myself, and with all of you.
I now plan to have kids one day.
I haven’t changed my mind that being childfree is a great choice for many people, so the only change is that I’m now planning to have a family that includes human children. I still believe that being childfree is an ethical, responsible, and perfectly reasonable way to live your life if you so choose. I just don’t want that for myself anymore.
There shouldn’t even be a childfree “debate,” because it’s a personal decision. If you choose to have children, and you’re able to take care of them well, more power to you! If you don’t, then that’s great, too. But not everyone thinks that way, and hundreds of people have personally told me that I must have children or that I’ll definitely change my mind as I get older.
These people were half right. I did change my mind, but not because I felt my biological clock ticking or because I had a change of heart regarding the ethical nature of a childfree lifestyle. I changed my mind because I met my wife, Rachael, and I think the world deserves more of her. I also think that we have a lot of love to give, and feel like this is the best way to put it to good use.
The fact that we decided to have children someday doesn’t affect anyone else, and it doesn’t mean other childfree people will change their mind, too. That’s called anecdotal evidence, and that’s not how science works.
In any case, Rachael and I have decided to take our time on this new endeavor. We are going to save money, travel, and plan for a future that includes children. We are also planning on adopting at least one child, which is especially important to us since Rachael and my father are both adoptees.
We want to thank everyone in advance for respecting our decision to have children, and to do so in a responsible way. We also want to thank you for any kind words or parenting advice, as we will certainly be needing it!