Don’t Lose Faith. Religious and Occult Abuse.

In the Beginning…

I felt the cool drops of water fall on my forehead. Gazing up I captured a glimpse of beings hovering over me. My eyes were opened.  I was one year old.  It was then I knew that I existed. I remember that defining moment. I was being baptized.

Observing long-forgotten photographs, I appeared like such a joyful child.  My father was protective and proud, and my mother compassionate and soft-spoken.  We looked like a happy family.  I loved my Grandpa Argay; he was the best.  He told me, “Always do what is right,” and continuously referred to “The Little Engine that Could.” I would sit with him every Sunday and he made me speak the words, “I think I can, I think I can.”  My grandmother was an astute woman.  She taught me how to dress and properly present myself. Thus, they wanted me to attend Penn State University when I graduated high school.  Our ancestors settled in Pennsylvania, and they were very proud of their Pennsylvania Dutch heritage. Every weekend Grammy asked me to spell the word “knowledge.”

 So, those were the first eight years of my life; then it all fell apart.  My mother and father divorced, and my life became very confusing.  My father distanced himself and my mother decided to stay alone after the divorce became final.  I chose to live with my mother.  Consequently, a few years later, she decided to give her life to Jesus.  Even though I was young and naïve, I knew my mother was a lonely woman.  She turned to alcohol and used religion as a crutch, all while never resolving her deeper issues.   

I have experienced traumatic events throughout my childhood and adulthood. These events included extreme religious beliefs followed by meeting people involved in occult practices. Thereupon, at 29 years old, I became engaged to a man who was a semi-famous musician and whose elite family worked for a government agency in the 1980s, which led to me losing more than 20 years of my life. Little did I know what he was involved in and how deeply he was connected to the occult.

My former fiancé despised my Catholic upbringing and my reverence for Jesus therefore subjecting me to severe psychological abuse. Nonetheless, despite the abuse I endured, I do not blame my Creator for what happened. However, my experiences with religion and occultism have led me to develop a deep concern for children, women, healthy parenting, self-awareness, the importance of acquiring knowledge and most importantly, maintaining a strong faith in the — Highest God.