To Tarry or Tarot?

As I sit here on the eve of Beltane, contemplating the clouds and the impending storm to come, a curious incident with my dog draws my attention to my living space. When your dog gives you a “WTH” look…. you know its bad. I realized that the area next to my bed, had become so messy that when my dog came to inform me it was time for a walk, she had trouble finding room to turn herself around.  She made me see the mess I was allowing to accumulate. I hadn’t put anything away recently and books, pens, clothes, jewelry, makeup, dishes and other things were basically strewn about. Confronted by the stark reality of my cramped quarters, I couldn’t help but recognize the toll it had taken on my well-being. Perhaps fatigue and a hint of melancholy had settled in, the consequence of relentless obligations without respite.

Feeling compelled to address this discord, I turned to a three card Tarot reading for insight into the barriers impeding my progress. The first draw, the Two of Cups revealed a life in balance, characterized by harmony and contentment.

Yet, the subsequent card, Death, signaled a looming transformation—a necessary upheaval to clear space for new growth. There has to be space made in the garden for new things to grow, and I thought I had been ripping things out by the roots. But in reality, I’ve replanted several plants back in my garden that I had pulled out last year and I wanted to see if I could get them to grow again. And, un/fortunately they are growing… which is why I’m so tired. But seriously, the Death card means something has to come to an end. This was the warning that a thunderstorm of transformation is going to sweep through my chaotic life and clear the playing field.

While that sounds horrifying, Death and I have an interesting and beneficial,  working relationship, and I actually love a scary, spring storm with its wind and cracks of lightening, as the windows rattle against their frames and my heart races. After the uproar dissipates, things feel scrubbed and washed, even the sun shines a bit brighter.  There is often debris to be gathered and discarded. These are the things that we can choose to lament or just accept the loss and move on. But it happened and often I’m grateful for the decisions made by Nature. Sometimes storms teach us where were need fortifications, other times they show us where we have been wasting our energy.

The final card, the Six of Pentacles, offered reassurance in its promise of abundance and generosity. It’s a reminder that amidst life’s trials, there is always enough to share. Now, how can I be mad at that? Clearly it all works out for the best. This reading to be a pat on the back with a bit of a warning, “The shit is gonna be real, but you have tools and experience to know when to fold and when to draw down.  What’s funny (and validating) about that, is when I do my  personal, abundance manifestations, I never ask for just what I need… I always ask to have what I need AND enough to share. And that….the ability to SHARE, is really what makes us good humans. This reading, then, serves as both a validation of my aspirations and a gentle admonition: change is inevitable, but with resilience and generosity, I’ll weather the storm and emerge stronger for it. Blessed Beltane to all!