PANTHEON
Aphrodite scares me. I have this list of Gods and Goddesses in my head (mostly Goddesses) Whom I will go out of my way not to offend, annoy, or otherwise irritate (not that I want to offend, annoy, or irritate any Deity!) and Aphrodite tops the list. She beat out Hela, the Norse Goddess of death for the honor, though I have to admit it was a close call. To put this in perspective, I belong to Odin and I’ve known many people to find Him utterly terrifying so when I talk about how terrifying I find the love Goddesses, particularly Aphrodite, people sometimes look at me as though I’ve suddenly sprouted five heads. I stand by my statement though.
Moreover, I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Over the years, (working as I have in largely female dominated industries) I’ve seen the way in which it often becomes a tense, unhappy contest to see whose boyfriend or partner is going to give the better gift, who’s going to get a card, who’s going to get flowers, who’s going to have some tangible, fleeting proof of “love.” I abhor the artificiality of it and I abhor how some people end up disappointed and feeling like crap on this day. Valentine’s Day all too often, instead of a playful celebration of love, friendship, and romance, has become a yardstick by which women measure their attractiveness and self-worth and that, to my mind, is ludicrous. Personally, I think we’ve done the whole idea of ‘love’ a tremendous disservice!
Love and War birthed Eroticism. Put more succinctly, Aphrodite and Ares birthed Eros. That right there should give a person pause. Of all the Deities that I have encountered or honored, it has been my experience that the love Goddesses are not only the most demanding, but also the most unforgiving. They have all the power, might, and fury to match and perhaps surpass any God of war in Their vengeance. I’ve known many people who take the Goddesses of love lightly, but think of the pain of a broken heart and magnify that a thousand times. Think of the joy of a loving friendship, or the immense pleasure of a fulfilling sexual and romantic partnership and magnify that a thousand-fold too. Those emotions are the treasures of these Goddesses and the most likely sphere wherein They will share Their blessings; and if we contemplate how much of the average person’s time and emotional energy is taken up in the search for ‘love,’ how much we ache for it, to be acknowledged as desirable and special, to find that person or persons in all the world to share a life with, well, suddenly Their realm doesn’t seem quite so easily dismissed.
Of all the Gods and Goddesses that we might honor, I think we do the gravest disservice to those like Aphrodite, Whose power is so readily associated with those tumultuous realms of the heart (and with the body in all its glorious ability to delight). Perhaps it is that we live in a culture and society that has scorned the sacredness of so many of Their gifts for two thousand years (if not longer). Perhaps it is that we so terribly misuse Their gifts in ways that harm the heart, mind, body, and spirit. Perhaps it’s that we consistently try to compartmentalize Them, shrinking Them down into saccharine Barbie-ized versions of an all loving Goddess, expecting Them to play by our stereotypes of what we think a Goddess of Love should be, expecting that They will give every blessing but demand nothing in return. Love and money, after all, are the two things in our society with which we have the unhealthiest of relationships and these are two primary areas in which these Goddesses like to move. (I do not in any way mean to imply that “love” Goddesses like Aphrodite are restricted in Their power to these areas. They’re not and to imply so would be hubris. But I think it safe to respectfully acknowledge that certain Deities have Their specializations, Their core competencies). Yet these self-same Deities were once acknowledged as some of the most fearsome and terrifying of all. Aphrodite, for example, has Her by-name: Androphonos: slayer of men. I’ve dealt with this aspect of Her nature and frankly, I spent most of the time on my knees with my head covered hoping not to attract too much attention.
When These Goddesses favor a person, it is a beautiful thing. They are loving and generous and can untangle the often thorny, knotted threads of one’s relationships in ways that are remarkable to behold. They can give the gift of good, mutually nourishing friendships, fulfilling romantic relationships, and fulfilling sexual relationships. They can bring wealth and abundance to a household and moreover, Their favor is worth courting simply because They are magnificent Goddesses. For no other reason than that: Their presence demands adoration.
When these Goddesses smite, however, they do so with true cunning. They give perversion, obsession, madness, and self-destruction. Love isn’t just sweetness and roses, it can turn into a vicious, painful, terrifying obsession. One aspect of Aphrodite, for instance, is specifically associated with obsessive love: you know, the kind where your ex stalks you until one of you is dead. They will not allow Their gifts to be scorned. There is a price, often a terrible price to pay for doing so. (As an aside, I think part of not scorning those gifts means loving yourself too and learning how to set healthy boundaries). I think this is, at least in part, because Their gifts are crucial, not just to personal happiness, but to maintaining right balance in our world. Joy and friendship, abundance of the heart, confidence in one’s own skin – think of how much better and healthier our world would be if everyone acknowledged their share of these blessings? The body is sacred. Sexuality is sacred. Diversity of form and function is sacred. The connections we make of the heart and spirit are sacred. If we as a people could learn to truly honor those connections, wherever they may be, without privileging any one over the other: (heterosexual over homosexual or bisexual, romance over friendship, marriage over singlehood, one body image or gender presentation over another, monogamy over polyamory or vice versa, etc. etc.), I think we would find our world transformed and I think we’d find the rest of the spiritual work that we are engaged in much, much easier. We hamper ourselves so much by all the ideological weight that we carry after all.
I’d like to see Valentine’s Day re-imagined. I’d like to see it become honored amongst Pagans as a day to honor our Gods and Goddesses of love, sex, and everything in between. Let it be a day where we pour out offerings to Them and ask nothing in return. Let it be a day where even the most solitary among us sets down gifts to the Goddesses of love and passion and says: “thank you.” “Thank You for my friends, for my partner(s), for the happiness in my life.” “Thank you for the grandmother that loved me.” “Thank you for giving me such a good best friend.” “Thank you for that raise I got.” “Thank You for my body and the pleasure it’s capable of bringing me.” “Thank You for being there.” “Thank you” for a hundred thousand other things too. Married, single, dating, in a relationship: everyone can do this small thing, which is not so small at all. Everyone can say “thank you” to the Love Goddess of his or her choice. It is a blessing to be able to praise Them.
Now I’m going to offer up this prayer. Most Heathens don’t honor Deities outside the Northern Pantheon, but just this once, today, I shall pay homage to the Goddess that inspired this bit of rambling.
In Praise of Aphrodite
Sweet Daughter of the Ocean,
Birthed from the spray of foam,
as the waves caressed the beach,
and gulls announced Your passage,
hear our prayer.
***
Iridescent Wonder,
Conqueror of Warriors
Slayer of men
in all ways large and small,
look upon us with favor.
***
Pandemos, Urania, Cythera, Kallipygos,
Ravager of Hearts,
Weaver of passions
Sweet Addiction
Smile upon us.
***
Wars began at Your whisper
Devastation may spring from Your glance.
We remember Hippolytus
Let us not partake of his folly.
Be kind to us, oh Lady.
***
Accept our offerings,
Gracious Goddess.
Accept our thanks,
Oh Splendor of the World.
For all that You give,
and do not give.
***
Sweet Adoration of the Senses,
On this day of all days,
Let us praise You
For the loves in our lives,
For the delight of our flesh,
For the wonder of our living,
For the blessings of our days.
Now and always,
We sing Your praises.
In gratitude we celebrate You,
Aphrodite.
Some useful links:
About Aphrodite: http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/Aphrodite.html
“Crown of Violets” a Devotional to Aphrodite: http://www.amazon.com/Crown-Violets-Images-Inspired-Aphrodite/dp/1451522304/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1297457632&sr=8-7
Article on Valentine’s Day: http://www.patheos.com/Resources/Additional-Resources/VDay-An-Arrow-in-the-Heart.html#
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