Guest Post: Tess Dawson on her Unrequited Love for Pagans

The fact of the matter is I’m weary of reminding Pagans that I’m included in the same category. And I’m so very discouraged that my religion is written out of many common makeshift definitions of Paganism.

My religion is not completely “nature-based” or “earth-based.” I do not follow the Wiccan Rede or honor the Wheel of the Year, I don’t cast circles, I don’t worship The Goddess and The God, I don’t call upon the Four Elements, I don’t see the deities as archetypes. I don’t use the Indian chakra system, I do not practice witchcraft nor do I consider myself a witch, I do not practice Ceremonial Magic. And I am most certainly not an adherent of “indigenous (Northern) European religion.” However, I do honor a sacred yearly calendar based on Bronze Age texts, I do honor multiple individual deities and make offerings to them, I meditate and pray, I honor some form of body wisdom, I value and support community, and I sometimes practice a form of theurgistic magic.

I’m discouraged at having my religion overlooked, forgotten, ignored, or written off as insignificant by a movement that is supposed to go beyond tolerance towards an active support of diversity. I am bothered by the “common assumptions” about my practices which do not take diversity into account. I dislike going to Pagan groups only to find I’m really in a Wicca 101 class. I am troubled that surveys of the Pagan community assume that if you are a Pagan you must be Wiccan, Ceremonialist, or possibly heathen and then tailor the questions specifically for these categories. I am frustrated that when I meet with a group or go to rites which are supposed to be inclusive only to find myself making the lion’s share of compromise 99% of the time so I can participate. And I know I’m not alone in my experiences.

I have tried for over a decade to claim myself as a Pagan, to support my religion as one of the many Pagan ways, and to support Paganism. I’d still like to because I believe that is still true and can still be true. In many ways, I still identify with the Pagan movement because it—or at least I thought it—embraced different deities and different ways. I believe that there can be strength in numbers, but when the majority of people and the definitions they create disinclude my religion, what hope do I have?

I’m becoming increasingly aware that ideally Paganism is inclusive, but it is not de facto what is happening in Paganism and I’m exhausted trying to educate both insiders and outsiders against what feels like an engulfing trend. When I find I have to explain myself to both non-Pagans and the Pagans themselves, there’s a problem. When I feel like I’m having force the issue of inclusiveness when it should already be there, there is a big problem. Apparently that problem is me. Perhaps I’m not realizing what some Pagans really are saying through their (inter-)actions: “You are not one of us. You tell us you are one of us, you claim us, but we don’t claim you or your religion.” Lately, I’m just not feeling the love; I’m feeling the cold shoulder. Pagans, is my love unrequited?

Yishlam le-ki,
Peace and wellbeing to you,
Tess Dawson
Pagan?, Polytheist, and Practitioner of Natib Qadish, Canaanite Religion