Mean Girls: GCB, GPB and Emotional Bullying

I was raised Baptist in the South, so I find Good Christian B***es hilarious. The stereotypes are exaggerated, but I’ve known women like that. Sweet as pie as they stab you in the back. In the South we’ve got holier-than-thou down to a science, and we all know the type. I’ve even got relatives I’m not stupid enough to name here that fit the shoe very well.

I’ve enjoyed GCB immensely. These women are awful people who practice double-standards and are ridiculously vain and selfish, and all is kosher because they attend church and quote a Bible verse or two. Religious symbols are as prevalent as Coach and Gucci labels in their homes.

I know some folks are upset over the show’s cynical and mocking view of Christianity, but, truthfully, these women could have any religious affiliation and it would be funny. The underlying concept is the same, it’s just the details you’d have to change. And as I was considering that, I came to realize that this would work for Paganism as well. With a little thought, GCB could easily become GPB.

If you stop and think, you’ve likely run into a Pagan, male or female, who was a “mean girl.” This myopic individual held double-standards, was extremely judgmental, had a fuzzy relationship with the truth, and likely resorted to emotional attacks when threatened. By now you likely have more than one person in mind.

Regardless of religion, or even gender, “mean girls” are pretty much the same. The best summary of what a “mean girl” is comes from Sugarland’s song Mean Girls:

Well, I ain’t a mean girl
But I’ve known a few.
They’ll make you cry baby
And then blame it on you.

“Mean girls” don’t deal in facts. They deal in misinformation and emotion. Here are some examples:

• A “mean girl” plagiarizes your work. When confronted she vomits an avalanche of insults upon you, takes a victim stance, tells anyone who will listen how “mean” you are, encourage others to heap abuse on you, and will attempt to get you kicked out of whatever organizations you both belong to. She becomes the martyr suffering for bringing knowledge to the spiritually hungry and you become the selfish, greedy villain for refusing to allow your work to be stolen. You posted it somewhere on the internet, so obviously you expected it to be stolen, much in the same way women walking after dark expect to be assaulted.
• A “mean girl” has his facts wrong. When corrected he remarks that you are obviously a “mean person” who has anger issues and he hopes you find the help you need to work through your anger. Because feeling the need to confront his misinformation means you have a lot of anger. He’s sending you white light to heal you of your destructive anger.
• A “mean girl” purposefully misconstrues what you say. You say you like purple, and the “mean girl” makes a big production about how much you hate red. You are completely biased against red. Obviously you advocate violence against red. When you point out that all you said was you like purple, she responds that she really hopes you are able to process whatever damage and pain you have deep inside and get right with red again.
• A “mean girl” doesn’t hate you, he’s just concerned about you. He thinks you might actually be a good person deep inside but he has deep misgivings about your character. He would never say anything against you but he felt it was necessary to point out that you’re a bad person in several public forums. He really hopes he can talk things out with you because he would really like to have a positive relationship with you, because you are awesome in every way with the exception that you are a revolting human being not to be trusted. He wants everyone to know he tried to work out his differences with you, but you just refused to admit you are a horrible human being.
• A “mean girl” believes you are disappointing her. She is much smarter than you, so although she has no desire to take on the work and responsibility you carry, she insists you run everything past her and engage in long conversations about how she feels about your work. Her messages and projects are the most important thing for you to focus on, and you must not deviate one jot from her plan. You are really not qualified to do anything without her permission, and your day should revolve around her and her desires. When something does not go her way you are lower than dirt and deserving of vile, profane insults. She is a sensitive human being and she just can’t deal with your lax and sub-par response to her very, very important needs.

Paganism is full of a lot of emotional people, and people who are trying to get in-tune with their emotions. Sometimes it leads to people using emotions like a sledgehammer, branding the other person as emotionally and spiritually unsatisfactory, and themselves as the victims of someone being “mean.” Like the Sugarland song says, “mean girls” will always cast their victim as the “mean” one.

What makes GCB interesting is that the “victim” is a former “mean girl” raised in church who has come home to find karma waiting for her as her victims have grown into older, smarter, cattier “mean girls.” While I never cared for Heathers or other films/shows about teenage bullies, I really connect to and relate to GCB. I think it’s because being homeschooled means I missed out on “mean girls” in middle and high school. The only “mean girls” I have ever known have been adults who you would think are old enough to know better.

A few weeks back I was looking through my e-mail archives for a file I had sent a friend several years ago. Not only did I find it, I also found an e-mail from a “mean girl” who took the form of a middle-aged male college professor. He taught political science, and I attended a political event at his college that he helped put together. Only one woman spoke, and only because she was the current Georgia Secretary of State. His class was made up of male students, and only male students spoke. I heard female students behind me remarking on this during the event.

The next morning I sent him an e-mail stating my concern for the tone of the event, which was against rather than for something, and the fact that women didn’t seem encouraged to speak. I received back a really nasty diatribe about how “mean” I was to criticize his event and how he looked forward to attending my political event and trashing it. He seemed to think I was middle-aged, and a representative from a political party in another county. I was only 20, and had just picked up an application for his college. The application was never completed. Why would I want to attend a school where the professors are more immature than the students?

I don’t have a lot of patience for “mean girls.” I’ve tried to communicate in their emotional style, but that generally just encourages them to be even more obnoxious. I’ve tried reasoning with them, but that doesn’t work. I’ve tried humor and sarcasm to illustrate the absurdity of their behavior, and that doesn’t work either.

So I’ve decided to no longer waste my time with “mean girls.” If they decide to brand me as mean and play the victim when I point out the facts, then that’s a sad waste of their life. When they decide I’m not Pagan enough, or pacifist enough, or feminist enough or what-have-you enough for them, that’s their problem. When they decide I obviously don’t respect their far superior spirituality, professionalism, knowledge or political insight, I’m not going to pay it any mind.

I didn’t have the high school experience, and have no desire to deal with those who are still stuck in locker room politics. I’d rather watch Carlene get her revenge on Amanda than deal with the “mean girls” of Paganism. And that’s the real draw of GCB. It’s not about bashing Christianity. It’s about seeing “mean girls” get their comeuppance without getting any mud flung on you. For once.