Beltane: Coming Out & Giving Support

May 2nd is International Pagan Coming Out Day. A day when folks who choose to come out regarding their religion will find a whole network of folks to support and encourage them.

I’m about as out as it gets but I know at least one person who is planning to come out to friends and family. I’m proud and honored to be acquainted with them. They have my support and I’m here if they need to talk.

Maybe you’re thinking of coming out on May 2nd. Maybe to one friend, maybe to your whole family, maybe to your neighbor.

Maybe you know someone who’s planning to come out. You’re offering to stand next to them, hold their hand, be on call, take them out to lunch after or have a cold beer and good movie on standby in case they need some comfort and relaxation.

In either case, I’m proud of you. It’s a hard thing to do, coming out to folks who expect you to conform to mainstream religious culture. It’s an important thing, to simply stand supportively by a friend who is choosing to be more open about their life.

Maybe you’ll have a Coming Out Party. Maybe you’ll sit around that evening processing the Coming Out experience over Beltane feast leftovers.

Maybe you can’t come out due to work, custody issues or other considerations. Maybe you need to stay in the “broom closet” and your contribution is providing a friendly ear and hugs for those who can come out. Maybe you need to counsel a friend about the wisdom of coming out if it might adversely affect them.

How you participate in Pagan Coming Out Day is your choice. There is no one right answer for everyone. Yet also know that every time a good friend or loved one reveals they are Pagan it creates a new consciousness within those you come out to.

Suddenly my best friend of 5 years, who is a warm loving person and godmother to my children is Pagan. So Pagans must be like her.

The nice guy that has been coaching my son’s t-ball team and taught my son to pitch is Asatru, so that must be a family friendly faith.

No wonder my cousin stood by me when I announced I was gay. He’s been a Druid for years and we never knew.

I was in shock when my daughter told me she was a Witch, but I had lunch with people from her coven and I’m glad she’s surrounded herself with nice, kind and responsible people.

If you plan to come out on May 2nd to any extent, reach out to your Pagan friends for support. Let the leaders of your coven, kindred, grove or circle know. If you know someone else who is coming out, plan to support each other. Invite your support network into your coming out.

If you know someone who is coming out on May 2nd, take steps to support them. If you are out offer to stand by them, to meet their family and friends and help remind them that this doesn’t change their son/daughter/sister/brother/cousin/friend from who they were the day before, it simply explains what helps make them an amazing person and informs their values. If you are in the closet then be supportive in quieter ways. Send an e-mail or text message of encouragement. Invite them out to a movie or dancing in order to let go of any tension that the day may hold.

Coming out as a Pagan is a big deal and not a decision to be made lightly. It’s not something you have to do alone. For more information and resources check out the official website for International Pagan Coming Out Day. Be sure to “Like” their Facebook page and make sure you state support of IPCOD if you can via social media, like Facebook and Twitter!