Structure Without Restrictions

Much of the argument surrounding the marriage debate is really regarding structure. Structure isn’t a bad thing. We all need a set of parameters to support the lives we build. The problem with structure being imposed on us is that no one set of parameters fits everyone. We are diverse by nature.

If Pagans want structure, if they need structure, they often have design it to fit. Pagans whose families have rejected them, or who do not identify with monogamous heteronormative lifestyles, have to find new ways to frame and support their lives. I have seen some dynamic and fascinating Pagan families, and I am continually impressed by the ingenuity of Pagans.

Yet I find myself wondering about economic security in the real world we live in today. Marriage is about a lot of things, but it’s foolish to ignore that it’s also about economic stability. So if we toss out this pipe dream called Traditional Marriage, we also throw out that form of support, of structure, of economic stability.

So how do we form societal bonds that also grant us stability, structure and security we need in an uncertain world? I don’t have the answer. Gay marriage seems to be largely a copy of hetero marriage. Maybe polyamorists have the answer?

I’m curious about this. What do you think?