I Don’t Want To Be Pagan Today

I need a break. I need a Pagan-free week. I’ve just had too much.

I’m tired of trying to discuss our community and faiths and being told that maybe I’m in the wrong religion, or I should just go back to being Christian.

I’m tired of trying to discuss X and having everyone respond to Y, because Y is a more familiar argument.

I’m tired of people pushing folks away because we are so paranoid about appearing that we try to keep folks “in the flock” that we’d rather shun than discuss the issues people have with our religions.

I’m tired of people thinking that our religions are therapy and that our leaders are mental health professionals even when they have no qualifications in that field, giving quack advice, staging interventions and trying to keep folks in the flock under the cover of concern for their well-being.

I’m tired of there being very little middle ground in our faiths, between being close as family and wide-open and anonymous.

I’m tired of our not listening to each other.

I’m tired of all this stress leading to people being crabby with people they love and respect.

I’m tired of people using emotional arguments to hide the fact that they respect no one and nothing outside of their own views.

I’m tired of there truly being no true open, safe and sacred space to practice my faith. No public temple where I can light incense, pray or meditate, and know that no one will bother me or ask me what I’m doing.

I know my readers don’t want to hear this today. They want me to happily wave the Pagan banner and examine the many perspectives of idol worship and their consequences. Well, that’s not going to happen today.

Because there is a big difference between my faith and my community. I’m not crazy about my community right now. Maybe it’s because I’ve been mainly interacting with Pagans online lately, but I’ve reached my limit and can’t take it anymore today.

I know that other writers and people who work heavily in our community feel this way sometimes, but they rarely say it out loud. Well, I am saying it.

I don’t want to be Pagan today.