In my stint in new-age communities, the virtues of silence and meditation were often preached as a means to an end: self-knowledge. Every morning, I would take a walk to the creek and meditate for as long as I could manage. Over time, I became so accustomed to the practice that it became an automatic part of my routine, like making coffee or brushing my teeth before bed.
I began to seek out solitude, not necessarily to commune with a higher power, but rather to achieve a state of altered consciousness. However, I soon discovered that the pursuit of solitude could have unintended consequences. Hermits, for instance, can lose their minds after years of isolation.
Moreover, the love affair with silence can also be a breeding ground for the ego. Vanity and spiritual pride may multiply, leading one to believe that they are superior to others.
It wasn’t uncommon for spirituality to become a competition in my new-age community, with one trying to show off their spiritual prowess. As one ‘leveled up’ they tended to acquire more crystals and shower less. Exterior symbols of knowledge and high vibrational energy.
“Look at me, I’m the Brad Pitt of contemplatives. Who else do you know can sit Lotus and smoke a cigarette like Tyler Durden?”
As we embark on the journey of the prayer of the heart, we find ourselves gradually slipping into a state of profound silence and stillness. This silence is not just the mere absence of noise, but a conscious effort to turn our attention away from all the distractions that surround us. We strive to align all of our faculties toward God, directing our focus solely on him. The ultimate aim is to heed the advice of the Mother of God, who lovingly instructs us to “Do whatever he tells you.”
In this silence, we learn to listen.
As we engage in prayer and contemplation of the mystery of God, we open ourselves up to be embraced by the Divine Physician. It is here, in this sacred place, that we experience repentance, healing, and renewal. By cultivating an attitude of surrender, we allow the seeds of peace to take root and bring forth an abundance of fruit. In essence, we abandon ourselves to find our true selves in God. We present ourselves before the Lord, as we are, without pretense or masks.
Although the prospect of silence may seem daunting at first, we gradually learn to “shut the door” and pray to our Father “who is in secret.”
When it comes to prayer, there is no magic formula or one-size-fits-all approach. We can begin by simply saying, “Here I am, Abba,” and expressing our gratitude. Even if we only have five minutes to spare, I believe that our God will be pleased with our heartfelt offering.
Love silence above all things. It brings thee near the fruit which the tongue is too weak to interpret. At first, we compel ourselves to be silent. Then from our silence, something is born which draws us toward silence. May God grant thee to perceive that which is born of silence. If thou beginnest with this discipline, I do not know how much light will dawn in thee through it. Concerning what is said about the admirable Arsenius: that Fathers and brethren came to see him, but that he sat with them in silence and dismissed them in silence – do not think, my brother, that this happened by the action of his will alone, though in the beginning, he had to compel himself. After some time some delight is born in the heart from the exercise of this service and by force it draws the body towards remaining in silence. If thou placest all labors of this discipline [solitary life] on one side and silence on the other, silence will outweigh them.
HJ Sandigo is immensely grateful for the experiences, wisdom, and humor that people have shared with him throughout his journey. His work has been featured in Foreshadow Magazine, The Dreamland Review, Forum, and various poetry anthologies in San Francisco. You can read more about the author here.
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