“But Black People are Racist, Too!”-How People Fight to Keep Racism Alive

For years, I have observed a pattern from diverse people whenever the issue of race comes up. I witness how, instead of taking the message to heart, hordes of us point to the woes of another racial group.

This fighting to avoid looking at ourselves wastes time and “precious, Lord take my hand, lead me on, let me stand” energy. My soul needs a resting because these same old practices are not tried and true, they are tired and through.

In this post, I address the ways both White people and People of Color fight to avoid improving race relations. I discuss what I conceive as a racial game of tit-for-tat that dominates racial discussions. I explore how this phenomenon shows up in the thinking of both White and People of Color, particularly Black people, and prevents meaningful individual and social progress.

Racial Tit-for-Tat Expectations

When discussing race, whether in various media forms or in-person, certain people reinforce a ridiculously narrow expectation where they need all racial groups and issues to be covered every single time in order for them to listen and learn.

These individuals struggle to listen because they are obsessed with a racial tit-for-tat, where usually a retaliatory desire against the other clouds their attention.

If you bring up race, you can count on at least one White person to say something  to the effect of:

“What about Black people?”

or

“What about fatherlessness?”

or

“What about Black on Black crime?”

 or

“Black people are racist, too!”

Every now and then someone mixes it up and add other groups of People of Color.  I have seen various White people even use their own children and Spouses of Color to justify why specifically Black people are not only racist, but America’s top racists.

We can count on these White people saying such things just like you can count on IRS coming for their cut of your paycheck.

Similarly, if you challenge People of Color on issues of race, particularly Black people, about any of the brokenness in our behaviors that’s adversely impacting children, individuals, and communities, rest assured you are going to get push back.

You will have the sleep woke crew of America agitated because you did not include the atrocities caused by White folks.

These individuals talk and live as if White people bear the responsible for all issues impacting our lives.

In other words, whenever White people’s first response is to point to the other, what they are really saying is, “I want to stay racist because you did not say anything about Black people.”

When People of Color redirect the attention to White people instead of taking the message to heart, what they are really stating is, “I am unwilling to take any responsibility for my life because you did not mention anything about White people.”

The very people who criticize Black folks for not taking responsibility use them as an excuse to avoid looking at their own lives.

The woke people think being awake means avoiding looking at themselves. Doesn’t awakening require self-awareness?

Both of these groups share something in common.

Have you figured it out?

Both fight to avoid looking at themselves, believing that by doing so, the other group does not have to.

Most of us have been taught and conditioned from politicians to schools, churches, and mainstream media to think in this dichotomy.

Identifying as progressive, liberal, conservative, or paleoketovegan, (one word) does not negate critically thinking for ourselves.

We do not have to go lock step with every belief according to an ideology, political party, or even dominant views in one’s family or community. If anything, power lies in questioning not only others’ beliefs, but also interrogating our own.

I, like a lot of us, find it utterly ridiculous to expect of any media outlet or writer to address every racial group and corresponding issues in every piece because people use the other as an excuse to avoid self and social examination.

Similarly, people do not need to restate all of their beliefs and philosophies in every interview, in every work, and in every discussion because certain people refuse to go beyond a singular encounter to understand more.

The reality is that focusing on different aspects of a larger issue can be both healthy and useful because we can look at different part instead of becoming overwhelmed at by the vast complexity of how race and racism works.

Numbers of people agree, but typically, our actions betray us.

That is, some of us want all of the responsibility to rest on the other party.

If we are willing, intentional, and truly embraced truly thinking for ourselves, we might actually get move forward, and not just to the benefit of someone’s political platform.

What Gets In the Way

Now that we understand this phenomenon of racial tit-for-tat, let’s explore how it impedes on the free, just, and equal world that both White People and People of Color desire.

1) What About White People?

If White people really treasure fairness or equality, then they would stop using intra-racial or inter-racial issues as a reason to avoid searching their own thinking and lives to challenge the ways they have been socialized around race.

Fatherlessness in the Black community or any community, for example, does not keep different White person from looking more deeply and intentionally at why they are colorblind, yet they intentionally live, work, play, and worship in predominantly and all-white spaces.

Let’s face it.  Even if I waved a magic wand, ending fatherlessness is not going to stop racism no more than stopping racism will magically undo all the racist ways of thinking and living People of Color have internalized.

It is illogical to avoid examining one’s life to ensure one is not contributing to racism in this world because one did not hear about Black on Black crime or fatherlessness every time one’s Whiteness was challenged.

What’s next?

Are White people going to tell people that we are not going to have a healthy lifestyle because of another race?

I can hear it now:

“I refuse to stop doing drugs because you did not say anything about Latinos doing drugs, too.”

“I refuse to lower the stress in my life because you did not say anything about how Black people avoid dealing with stress.”

“I am not reading books on parenting because Black people need parenting help.”

Next thing you know, someone is going to say, “Why do I need to make healthy choices as an adult. What about childhood obesity?”

If we approach other areas of our lives the way we approach race, which some of us do, we would not grow.

Because often White people surround themselves with people, mostly White, who also share this way of living.  This insular lifestyle reinforces the idea that they can live as “good people” without challenging themselves on issues involving race.

2) What about People of Color?

If various People of Color really want a more liberated just society, then it requires facing some of the ways we have not dealt with how our internalized racism influences how we treat each other and White people. Brown versus Black issues rings a bell.

It is illogical to think that White people are the blame for every single issue plaguing us. Specifically, why, of all people, given their prominent talk of empowerment, do Black people get irate about us empowering ourselves?

It is as if we are saying things like:

“I have no choices. I am powerless. White people have all the power.”

“How dare you expect me to have dignity.”

“I do not want to deal with my self-worth because White people are racist.”

“How dare you tell my child to get an education when White people are racist.”

“I should burn down my community because White people are racist.”

Like the White people who fight to avoid looking at themselves, these people of Color insulate themselves with people who reinforce their beliefs.  They struggle with any challenges to their racial beliefs unless you mention White people and racism.

We fight to ignore the pain we cause in the world and on ourselves because of misplaced pride.

Some of us allow our feelings of shame involved prevent us for finding ways to heal the brokenness.

For example, we fight to ignore the violence and the colorism.

We are no longer on the plantation, but a lot of us treat each other like house and field slaves.

The truth is, White people cannot step into the souls of those who are hurting to heal our anger or raise our self-worth. That’s too much to expect of anyone.

White people cannot make us stop being willfully ignorant at how People of Color act out animosity on each other and White people.

The Klan does not ride through the streets of the neighborhoods telling Children of Color, “Now make sure when you go to school that you act up in class and blame the system.”

Do institutions like education need reform? Yes.

Are all the problems related to institutional racism and White people?

Well, if we want a destiny for our child, then we will sing, “no, no, no, no.”

The expectation that People of Color cannot challenge our own racial thinking and living because White people bear all responsibility for our social problems sells all of us short.

Conclusion: Fighting to Go Backwards

All of this fighting to get nowhere points to one thing: We have touched on a nerve.

We have reached an emotional, intellectual, or spiritual place where where you are being drawn to grow.

As with any invitation to expand, you will either fight to progress or keep fighting to go backwards.

As for choosing the latter, you will continue to wonder about why things don’t change or act surprised at news reports of overt racism. Part of the solution lies in people like you and me willing to fight for more.

If the truth applies to you, then you accept it, even with feelings of discomfort in order to gain more freedom.  We are not truly free if we are fighting avoid growth.

If it is going to help me live more closer to my highest, truest self, I would rather my feelings get hurt with the truth than preserve them to keep living out self or socially destructive behaviors.  What about you?

Whenever I have chosen to lean into my inner resistance instead of fighting to justify it, I grow. For example, it was by leaning into the discomfort when I was challenged about fatherlessness in the Black community that compelled me to dig and research more for myself.

I was able to see how typically, conservatives use the issue of fatherlessness to deflect from racism and how commonly, liberals fight to ignore the issue, both using research to support a fight that keeps people divided.

We can think for ourselves without unquestioningly allowing dominant ideological messages reinforced by people in our circles do it for us.

More of us can strive to allow a grander vision of our lives and our world to compel us to lean into our inner resistance than using another person’s ignorance as the reason to remain in ignorance, too.

You can join the multitudes who share the belief that individual progress and social progress are not mutually exclusive of each other, where both are worthwhile endeavors.

By realizing your highest and truest selves, you fight to go forward in constructing a greater society.