Two Racist White Men Harassed Me on a Walk. And Then This Happened…

Two Racist White Men Harassed Me on a Walk. And Then This Happened… November 24, 2018
Photo credit: Pixabay

“Ni**er with the straight hair! Ni**er with the straight hair!”
He kept yelling, trying to get my attention.

I refused to turn and recognize him. After all, that’s not my name.
So he crowed even louder.

“Ni**er with the straight hair! Ni**er with the straight hair!”
I could even hear the amusement in his voice.

The man sat in the passenger side of the truck, as it cruised alongside me on the street.
As I kept walking on the sidewalk, I used my peripheral vision to keep tabs of the situation.

I considered my safety.
I wanted to get home to my family.
I wanted to see my husband and son.
They sped away.
I was leaving a park in what often has been deemed a “good” part of town—a “nice area” that’s “clean.”


I have learned that sometimes these are code words for spaces where predominantly White people dwell.
But not just any kind of White, mind you. I’m talking about middle class or affluent White people.
And situations like this one didn’t happen in this Midwestern, more evolved community—A locale where people don’t even see race.

*Cue the heavenly chorus*

On this day, a couple of millennial White men saw race.

After they left, my mind traveled to the story of these men’s lives… how people possibly allowed these men to live like this… they married these men… they spent with these men… they worked with these men… they broke bread with these men… Went to church with them…

I imagined how certain people might defend them if they were challenged on other racially problematic words or actions:

“Maybe, they misspoke.”
“They really aren’t bad people.”

“It was a mistake in judgment.”
“They aren’t racist.”

“Stop pulling the race card.”
“You’re being divisive.”

“I’ve never had a problem with them.”

I didn’t get the memo that walking from a park located north of the Mason-Dixon line caused racial divisiveness.
Nevertheless, I felt sorry for these men.

The only way they could feel a sense of importance in life was to harass a Black woman walking down the street. The only thing they had going for their fragile White masculine ego was their sense of racial entitlement. They needed to have it reaffirmed because the only way they could feel special was to keep a sense of racial hierarchy in their minds. I pitied them and still do.

On the next day, I returned to the park. I wouldn’t let ignorance and hate change my plans. I kept my hair the same, too, because I change it when I want to. And, I didn’t want to. Besides, these men projected their own race and gender fragility onto me.

I laughed within, as I thought about how they assumed their race granted them authority in my life.
As I enjoyed my walk, an older White man, at least in his 70s, walked toward me on the opposite side of the path.
“Excuse me,” he beamed as he attempted to get my attention before he passed by me. “You look beautiful, and that hairstyle is lovely on you.”

“Thank you,” I responded, while thinking, “God, what are you trying to show me?”

As I walked and pondered these two moments in two days, initially, these incidents disrupted the notion that the older generation possesses the racial issues, while the younger generation doesn’t have racial hang-ups.

On the contrary, I think the incidents suggest that racial progress is not a matter of age, but progression by how we choose to think and live. Contrary to popular opinion, we can be younger and backward as well as older and innovative.

Secondly, I thought about how often we give more attention to White people who choose to emphasize hate or the ones who refuse to grow outside their own racial bubbles while ignoring all the White people who want to walk in love and to grow.

Isn’t that life, at times, allowing the little bad to draw our attention away from all of the good going for us?
What if I had chosen only to tell you about the younger White men because that consumed my thinking and completely ignored what happened with the older White man? What about all of the other White people who smiled, greeted me, or just went along their way, not thinking about a need to call me a racial slur?

Instead of choosing to dwell on the racist incident and allowing myself only to see the pervasiveness of racism, I decided to remain hopeful about societal progress because I magnified in my thoughts those across race who pour goodness into the world.

I am reminded of the importance to strive still to make this world better and, equally as necessary, give credit to where it’s due along the way.

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  • Ivan T. Errible

    Religion is boring.

  • fred5399

    Racist behavior comes at you always when you least expect it. You go about living your life and a person comes up and says or does something to you to remind you that he or she is the master race and you are not. Yet these same folks (not the racists) can be friends, allies, loves, family or just decent human beings. Whom do you hate? how do you identify them? In the words of Richard Pryor on racism ” it’s enough to make you crazy”

  • Mirror

    Thanks for the balance. I think we would get a lot farther as a society if there were more people willing to see the positive instead of dwelling on the bad experience.

  • Nimblewill

    Atheism is boringer!

  • Nimblewill

    In my teens, I’m 56 now, I displayed a huge confederate flag in the back of my candy apple red 1969 Torino. I walked out from football practice and several of my black team mates had spit all over my car and hitting it with their bags. I honestly didn’t consider it to be offensive but I learned something that day. When I saw the hurt on a good friends face I immediately knew I had done something wrong. I took the flag out. A few years back in the midst of the confederate flag controversy I wrote these lyrics to a song.

    “You can have that flag.
    It ain’t mine.
    You could take everyone of em down and I’d be fine.
    Those stars and bars, never set me free.
    And a battle flag is all it’ll ever be.”

    I was born in the 60’s in a racially divided South but God began to work on me the day I saw my friends spitting on my car. He’s not finished but I know that there is no master race. Stay in One Peace.

  • Nimblewill

    Blessed are the Peace Makers for they shall know God. Thanks for sharing!

  • Ivan T. Errible

    But doesn’t cost the taxpayers anything in tax breaks or housing allowances.

  • fred5399

    But the bad stuff keeps coming. Be nice to get over it, if it would stop happing. A white guy told me couple of years ago it will take generations to end racism. Be racist if it helps you to get through life just leave me the frack alone.

  • SCUBAsabre

    Ivan T. Errlble – you are a troll. My grandmother used to say that only unmotivated people are bored. She said, “If you are bored, it is only because you are boring. Are you a boring person?” It was an invitation to ask more of yourself since the world is not here to entertain you. A lesson that you clearly missed.

    I am an Atheist and your effort to “insult” theists is just sophomoric at best. Grow up. Religion is anything but boring… it has created spaces for people to feel connected and been the rationale to cause mass death… it’s been the impetus for change and the impetus for surpression… it is many things but boring isn’t one of them. Perhaps crack a history book? You might learn something.

  • SCUBAsabre

    Though a valid topic for discussion… the idea of Churches getting tax free status… your trolling approach is anything but productive. You want to have that discussion? Bring it on…. let’s hear what supports your position on it.

  • SCUBAsabre

    I would argue that ignoring the disgusting behavior will only enable it to continue. Pretending it didn’t happen doesn’t make it less or make it stop. To call out the racism or hate is not the same thing as “dwelling” on something. The midirect and obfuscation of calling it dwelling is actually enabling thost that mistreat others. It’s a common retort from those uninterested in addressing something that doesn’t effect them personally.

    Sure… acknowledge the postive but don’t ignore when poor behavior occurs.

  • Ivan T. Errible

    OK, let’s hear how being “Prophetic” and still getting millions in tax breaks are compatible.

  • Ivan T. Errible

    It’s predictable and therefore about as exciting as a rusty metronome.

  • SCUBAsabre

    I am not saying it is… I am asking you to actually make a point rather than make trolling comments. Make your case as to why it’s not compatible. As I wrote, a valid topic for discussion.

  • SCUBAsabre

    Again, the world is not here to entertain you. This trolling approach you take achieves nothing but vitriol. Of course it that’s your objective it is you Ivan and your comments that are predicable and therefore by your definition, boring.

  • Nimblewill

    So you’re jealous?

  • Nimblewill

    Do some research. See how many faith organizations feed and house people in need. Maybe you’re too bored to look it up.

    Here, I’ll help you.

    Following a foreword and an executive summary, the introduction explains that faith-based organizations (FBO’s) have a history of contributing monetary funds to social service programs that assist over 70 million Americans annually. Many studies have linked involvement in religious practices (organic religion) to reductions in many types of deleterious health outcomes.

  • SCUBAsabre

    I never said being Prophetic was or wasn’t compatible with getting tax breaks. I asked you to make your case and you still haven’t. Stop trolling. Make your case.

    Ironic that I actually don’t believe churches should be granted tax exemptions just becuase they are “faith based”. Non profits should be just that and all for profits (including faith based”) should pay taxes. I am waiting for you to make your case….

  • SCUBAsabre

    Of what or whom are you asserting Ivan is jealous?

    On the surface, this comment is just as trolling as Ivan has been.