I thought the days were over when I feared the end times. But then recently I have had fleeting moments where I am concerned about the future and I am worried about the end of the world. I am an atheist but I am genuinely concerned about the future now, on the eve of Brexit and Trump coming to power. This time, my fears are founded in reality as opposed to the concoction of scaremongering and fantasy splurged out from religion.
Before, when I was a christian, nearly everything that went badly in the world was deemed “an attack” from Satan and seen as a sign of the end times. Tsunamis, Earthquakes, Wars, Famines, Disease, they were all signs that the world was going to end and attributed to the work of the devil. The upside of seeing evil everywhere was that I would see the return of Jesus soon. Jesus’ return would mean that I would be in heaven and at peace with him. But I struggled to celebrate the pain and suffering in the world that would lead us to the apocalypse, the trauma that people were going through now did not make me feel better about possibly seeing Jesus soon.Now, I try to see the good in the world and I try not to see catastrophes wherever I look. The reality is that there are some majorly messed up things going on in the world today and I feel progress is being undone, or could be undone. I fear for the future of those who have been fighting for their rights, as their rights may not be considered in this new world that I am seeing. Will we see same sex marriages revoked, women being denied contraception, walls built between people of different cultures?
What I worry about most is that some christians will welcome Trump as a catalyst to the end of the world, as the righteous warrior who will fight against the evil satan worshiping arabs and will bring the evil nations to their knees through war.
Despite the worry, I feel a sense of calm that I didn’t have before when I was religious. This time I am going to make the most of the time I have with those I care about and spend my time doing what I love. When I was religious I felt like living was like sitting in the waiting room for heaven, just existing until my name was called. I was told that heaven would be far better than what I have now, so why make the most of the world when I will have better in heaven. I don’t believe that I am in a waiting room anymore, this is it for me, one day I will cease to exist, so I will try my hardest to make every day as content as I can make it, even if world war three is on the way.