Editor’s Note: The Rational Doubt Blog’s prolific book reviewer is also a former Bible teacher. Here, in a post that first appeared on this blog in August 2018, she displays her knowledge of the Bible, her wry sense of humor and her active imagination all at the same time. She is also working on a book of her own and is a contributor to the anthology, Women Beyond Belief: Discovering Life Without Religion, by Karen Garst. /Linda LaScola, Editor
By Alexis Record
Hello children and welcome to Bible corner! Today we’ll be reading from Romans 9 while you eat your animal crackers and drink your juice.
“God hates people.”
Wow, Polly. That wasn’t called for. Isn’t Polly pretty, children? And blunt? And pretty blunt? Haha, well, let’s get into our study, shall we?
The ninth chapter of Romans is inspired by God! You see, God wanted the author to write it down just right to best communicate with all the boys and girls of the world. Isn’t that great! So when you read from the Bible it’s like God is writing a letter just to you. What a special Pen Pal! Isn’t that right, Polly?
Heh. Well, that’s awkward, Polly. You must have your yarn braided too tight. Isn’t Polly funny, kids? Well, okay. Polly has a point. God did hate a fellow named Esau. He loved his brother, Jacob, though!
Because God is a God of love! He created you and me and rainbows and kittens.
“And Esau, despite the hatred.”
Right, and even Esau! Thanks Polly. (Don’t hover so close, it’s creepy.) Isn’t God great!
Romans 9:11 makes sure to include that Esau hadn’t done anything wrong (golly gosh, he hadn’t even been born yet), but verse 13 says God hated him anyway. This is actually repeated from Malachi 1:3. And whenever God repeats himself (not herself) he reallymeans it! In Malachi, part of God’s inspired book, the Lord declared his love for Israel—that’s Jacob and his children. The people of Israel asked God how he could love them since he hated Esau, Jacob’s own brother! God responded by saying it was because he hated Esau so much that he loves them instead. See! It would be like your parents loving both you and your brother. Come on, all parents have favorites. But don’t’ worry. God has a plan for the hated sibling.
“They will be destroyed.”
Wow, Polly, that dead-eyed stare is really too much! Am I right, kids? Like, it’s piercing my soul right now. Haha! Once again, yes, Romans 9 goes on to say in verse 22 that God makes people he hates so that he can destroy them.
“Including some of you.”
Polly, did you always have fangs? How did I notnotice that before? Now I can’t look away. Anyway, what Polly means is, that, yes, sure, technically, there are someof you boys and girls here today that were possibly created specially by God for a special torture in Hell forever. Probably not all of you. Maybe some. (Most likely Billy there.)
“Because God hates you.”
Oh look! Bible corner is over and it’s time for singing! Everyone clean up their area, stop crying for their mommies, and collect their carpet squares! The song today is “How He Loves” and we’ll be repeating the line “Oh, how he loves us!” at least forty times until you really get it. There will be hand motions!
Bio: Alexis Record is a feminist, humanist, ex-Christian atheist, and mother to children with disabilities. She devoted the first 30 years of her life to Christian study and service due to indoctrination, and is working to repair the years the locusts have eaten.
>>>Photo Credits: Creation_of_the_Sun_and_Moon_face_detail.jpg ; Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=7334392