Prayers of Science Educators in the Bible Belt Answered

Science educators in the conservative Christian regions of the United States known collectively as the “Bible belt” have long been praying for a sign from the Lord, one that would both confirm their rightness in continuing to teach (when allowed to by school boards) the scientific theory of biological evolution, and also help them persuade local residents in their areas of the overwhelming evidence for evolution.

God answered their prayers in a manner that made the TV news tonight, as well as appearing in many newspapers. God provided them with pig weed. This is a weed that used to be controllable using pesticides, but which now has evolved a resistance to the pesticides in question.

Asked whether answering these prayers in this manner did not in fact provide support for intelligent design, the Almighty responded in the negative. “In fact, the real miracle was what I was doing before, preventing the weeds from developing such a resistance. I was happy to do so, until I saw that it was having the unintended effect of making humans in these areas resistent to science education. I hate it when people who say they believe in me deny the plain evidence I’ve left of my handiwork, including one of my greatest artistic flourishes, biological evolution,” God was quoted as saying.

Now it is the turn of the farmers to pray. The Lord is rumored to have said that if evolution-denial ceases in any given region, he is happy to send scientists with intelligently-designed pesticides to help the farmers to outwit and overcome the effects of evolution – in their fields, that is, but not in science classrooms.