The War on New Year

The War on New Year December 30, 2011
Apparently the forces of darkness are mounting an attack, this time on the Christian holiday of New Year’s Day, which commemorates and worshipfully celebrates the anniversary of the day on which a Romanian monk miscalculated the year in which our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was born. In addition to the anticalendricals, it seems that the Chinese, Jews, and Muslims are all opting out and deciding to celebrate other days as their new year. More recently the ranks of these heathen have apparently been joined by the ancient Babylonians and Mayans. Worse still, countless American companies are yielding to the pressure from these groups, and instructing their employees to wish people “Happy New Years Day” rather than “Happy New Year’s Day,” in so doing acknowledging a plurality of new years rather than the only true one.

Truly committed Christians should be listening carefully for the lack of apostrophe, and boycott any stores that prove to be committed to this heretical anapostrophism.

Fight the good fight. Make sure that you drink too much champagne on December 31st as midnight approaches, and not on one of the days celebrated by the heathen. Too much is at stake. Imagine the confusion if we had enormous crowds and brightly lit orbs descending upon Times Square all throughout the year.

NOTE: This originally appeared on my blog back in 2008, but it seemed worth reposting, since apparently this is still a live issue.

"Yes, Matthew's bit is weird and pretty much every scholar is a little mystified at ..."

N. T. Wright’s Paul and the ..."
"Here's my guess (lol):James said: What do readers of this blog think? Is the expression ..."

Poor In Spirit and Poor in ..."
"I think it's only problematic to those who have consciously or unconsciously become adherents to ..."

Poor In Spirit and Poor in ..."
"I would be honoured, thanks."

Doctor Who: Demons of the Punjab

Browse Our Archives

Follow Us!


TRENDING AT PATHEOS Progressive Christian
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Angie VanDeMerwe

    The ONLY reason this would even matter is with international relations, such as commerce/trade and diplomacy! I tried to share it on my FB Wall but couldn’t get it to post….probably better, anyway……

  • Angie VanDeMerwe

    I just saw where France was making citizenship harder “to come by”. I think this is what America should do, as it would prevent undue stresses on our culture as to language, and cultural values and make sure that the immigrant was fully assimulated and loyal…..instead of loyal to “a God” or some kind or other….Diversity of culture is a fact of life, as it is in Nature. Perhaps our attempts to conform everyone into our own image (or “god”) is the problem with the world!!!

  • BrotherRog

    Talk about waging war on the new year, here’s an article on Patheos that says that 2012 already happened! 4-6 years ago. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithforward/2011/12/2012-is-the-end-its-the-beginning-or-its-just-another-year/