Jesus was NOT a Zombie

Jesus was NOT a Zombie October 27, 2013

Jeremy Smith wants to make sure that, if you are a nerd who is inclined to be sacrilegious as the Halloween season draws near (or at Easter, for that matter), you at least do it accurately. And so he shared this:

Now, in case you are wondering, I don't think that Jesus was a Lich. Or a zombie. Or a ghost. Or any of the other options on the list above.

What I do think is that, far from dismissing it as sacrilege, Christians should use such potentially insulting humor to ask and reflect on what they do think Jesus was and is. Having him resurrect into a physical body and travel upwards to a heaven that is located literally upwards from Jerusalem when the Earth is facing a particular direction has implications. And if you do not so envisage heaven, then positing a physical Jesus who travels there spatially makes no sense, and so you should admit that you don't view Jesus the way the author of Acts did.

Instead of getting mad at Halloween (if you are the sort of person who tends to do so because you regard the entire thing as demonic), why not ask what opportunity it offers to learn something? If Paul could, according to Acts, learn from a Greek author who wrote about Zeus, then surely you can learn something from Halloween even if it is not something you are inclined to celebrate.


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  • I don’t know …

    Matthew 27 records:

    “51 At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split 52 and the tombs broke open. The bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. 53 They came out of the tombs after Jesus’ resurrection and went into the holy city and appeared to many people.”

    … sure sounds like a zombie apocalypse to me!

    ooh … here’s a thought … if Jesus still had holes in his hands and side – imagine what varying states of decay you’d see in all the “holy people” from Matt 27:52.

  • Tell me truth James: are you on the verge of becoming an apologist?

    I begin to seriously worry about you…

    • No, the phrase you are looking for is “zombie apocalypse,” not “zombie apologist.”

  • Michael Wilson

    I’m amazed at how influential Dungeons & Dragons has been in shaping our understanding of folklore, you know that before them a lich was only found in an obscure fantasy novel.

    I always thought the resurrection stories in Luke and John involving the nails marks in the hand were silly. The guy can physically comeback from the dead but healing scars is beyond him. I think it shows how by the time these gospels were written Christians were failing to grasp their original theologies. It seems that living in the spiritual sense on a spiritual level didn’t strike a lot of people as really living, though nobody expected the living God to come sit his butt in a chair and eat breakfast to prove he was “alive” and not just a mere haunt.

    • Jon Hendry

      Archaeologists working in the Eastern Mediterranean might want to be careful, however, in case they come across a tomb decked out with a Sphere of Annihilation.

  • Tom Verenna

    I wrote this a day ago:

    I think that, if taken out of context and ignoring its STP Jewish ritual meal influences, the passage in John is most strikingly similar to vampirism. =)