Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

Let the Punishment Fit the Crime April 12, 2015


This comic from Cyanide and Happiness relates to both religious ideas of punishments in an afterlife, and education, and so I had to share it. There is a long history of people imagining punishments in an afterlife that are suited to the evils they did in this life. And, however problematic that is, it is probably preferable to the notion that everyone goes to the same place of eternal torment merely for not assenting to certain ideas.

I have sometimes suggested – mostly jokingly – that the punishment for plagiarists should be to write hit songs and then sit by living in poverty as other people steal them and make millions from them.

Whether or not you think that there is an afterlife, and whether or not you think that there are punishments and rewards in it, please join in the fun and think of appropriate afterlife punishments for various misdeeds that you can think of – especially (since we are nearing the end of the semester) educational ones!

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  • Gary

    Chemistry, heat rises.
    Beats biology, heat of the meat!
    Hanging from your balls is not conducive to Dante’s BBQ.

  • On the subject of appropriate afterlife punishments:

    All the fundamentalists from every religion will be locked in a room in Hell together. When they come to a common agreement on the right way to get into Heaven, they will be allowed to go there.

    Theocrats should spend eternity living under the regime they advocated for in life.

    Biblical inerrantists should spend eternity writing replies to letters of complaint from Star Trek fans who are angry at how an obscure reference in the latest episode contradicts some other obscure statement made in an earlier episode. Each reply must resolve the contradiction to the satisfaction of the fan.

    Homophobes will be made to watch endless re-runs of Will & Grace.

    News anchors who make a habit of obnoxiously interrupting their interviewees will spend the afterlife being followed around by Brian Blessed, who will shout at them every time they try to speak for longer than 4 seconds at a time.

    Anyone who advertises something they’re selling as being superior due to being “natural”, or who opposes modern medicine or technology due to it being “unnatural”, will be forced to live naked in a cave, eating only what they can kill with their bare hands.

    Anyone who claims that “everything happens for a reason” will spend eternity doing a mundane and demoralising office job with no clear purpose.

    Everyone who has ever used the acronym “YOLO” will be made to live their Earthly life a second time.

    That’s all I can think of for the moment.

    • Shiphrah99

      Brian Blessed, davka??

    • I love these. I would love to see some of them turned into cartoons…

      • My lack of artistic skill prevents me doing that. There was something very satisfying about thinking up punishments for all those people though.