Should Christians attend LGBT weddings?

THE RELIGION GUY’S ANSWER:

Many readers, including regular churchgoers, may be perplexed that this question is even being asked. Whatever their own concept of marriage, they’ll feel that accepting a wedding invitation is a matter of basic courtesy and kindness. Moreover, Pew Research Center polling after the Supreme Court ruling on this shows 61% of U.S. Catholics and 66% of “Mainline” Protestants accept legalized same-sex marriage.

And a much-debated December edict from Pope Francis’s Vatican now allows priests to offer blessing ceremonies to gay and lesbian couples, even as liberal Protestant churches provide actual weddings. Yet Pew found only 29% of white evangelical Protestants favored legalization. It’s important for everyone to understand why attendance is no simple matter for some Christians.

On January 24, this delicate issue, usually pondered in private, became a noteworthy public debate in religious circles when listeners to American Family Radio’s 180 stations tuned in for Alistair Begg’s daily “Truth for Life” Bible talk. Instead, they heard an explanation of why the network is canceling Begg’s program.

Is thoughtful orthodoxy enough?

Before the AFR cutoff, Begg’s popular program, known for thoughtful orthodoxy, was carried on some 1,900 radio outlets. The Scottish-born evangelical preacher, conference speaker, and author has been the senior pastor of the non-denominational Parkside Church near Cleveland since 1983.

Listeners had contacted AFR after learning about a podcast interview last September during which Begg said a woman had recently asked him about how to approach her grandson’s forthcoming wedding to a transgender spouse. Begg wondered whether the grandson understands “that your belief in Jesus makes it such that you can’t countenance in any affirming way the choices that he has made.”

She said yes, and Begg continued, “as long as he knows that, then I suggest that you do go to the ceremony. And I suggest that you buy them a gift.” The woman was caught off guard, so he explained that refusal to attend “will simply reinforce” the opinion that believers are “judgmental. . . It is a fine line,” Begg acknowledged, but “we’re going to have to take that risk a lot more if we want to build bridges into the hearts and lives of those who don’t understand Jesus.”

What did Jesus say?

Both Begg and AFR want to honor Jesus Christ, who taught, echoing Genesis 2:24, that “from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Mark 10:6-8, paralleled in Matthew 19:4-5). Other Old Testament and New Testament texts oppose same-sex relations as sinful, a belief then upheld for 2,000 years by all Christian (and Jewish) branches. But in recent times, reinterpretations by liberal scholars have provided grounding for several  Protestant denominations to revise their beliefs on gay and heterosexual morality.

The AFR network, whose stated purposes include “to strengthen biblical marriages,” posts this: “We believe it to be an act of unfaithfulness to God to attend a ceremony that celebrates any union outside of the biblical model of marriage as being between one man and one woman. Members of our leadership team held a call with Alistair Begg’s team and were unsuccessful in convincing them of his error.”

In a follow-up sermon at his local church, Begg persevered: “What happens to homosexual people, in my experience, is that they are either reviled or they are affirmed. The Christian has to say, ‘We will not treat you in either of those ways. We cannot revile you, but we cannot affirm you. And the reason that we can’t revile you is the same reason why we can’t affirm you, because of the Bible, because of God’s love, because of His grace, because of His goodness.’”

Begg was to have spoken at a major evangelical clergy gathering, the sold-out Shepherds Conference March 6-8 at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California. But after speaking with its influential host Pastor John MacArthur, Begg withdrew lest his appearance be an “unnecessary distraction.”

Catholic bishops weigh in

Note that the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops had previously posted official online guidance about gay and lesbian weddings.  The Catholic leaders first detail the traditional Christian teaching, then ask parishioners to consider “what marriage is” and what wedding attendance “would mean.” Since marriage is the union of a man and a woman, the bishops say, attendance “may be considered support for something that is incompatible with this truth.” Yet this “can be a difficult decision,” so if close family members or friends are involved, it’s best to seek clergy counsel. Catholics are also asked to considzer that “there are many ways of showing love to a person with same-sex attraction without attending such a ceremony.”

The current Internet discussion is monopolized by Protestant traditionalists. One of the more outspoken voices is Carl R. Trueman, a religion professor at Grove City College in Pennsylvania and a fellow with the Evangelicals in Civic Life program at the Ethics and Public Policy Center in Washington, D.C. Writing at FirstThings.com, by coincidence the same week the Begg fuss broke, he noted wedding rituals customarily ask whether anyone present knows why the couple should not be united. He contended a Christian is then “obliged to speak up,” so it’s far less offensive to simply be absent.

“If marriage is rooted in the complementarity of the sexes, then any marriage that denies that challenges the Christian understanding of creation,” he said, meaning “fake marriages are a mockery of Christ himself.” When a Christian tries to avoid offending people, “the price of attendance is huge.”

The answer provided by the conservative Focus on the Family (FotF) says wedding attendance is “one of the most divisive and sensitive questions” raised by current culture. The organization states that it cannot advise attending a wedding that is “inconsistent with God’s design for human sexuality” as set forth by Jesus Christ and elsewhere in Scripture. And yet FotF recognizes family considerations and acknowledges that the Bible does not provide specific teaching about the wedding issue.

FotF cites the example of Jesus, who was loving and respectful toward the Samaritan woman met at the well but never approved her promiscuous lifestyle. FotF, like the Catholic bishops, suggests that Christians honestly express what their conscience requires about weddings and distinguish that from serious efforts for loving relationships going forward. Like-minded British parson Matthew Hosier suggested specifics on how to foster such mutual understanding in an article at www.thegospelcoalition.org.