Notorious ex-Navy Chaplain blesses Lowes Home Improvement stores

Notorious ex-Navy Chaplain blesses Lowes Home Improvement stores December 31, 2011

Gordon James Klingenschmitt has previously prayed for Mikey Weinstein and Rev. Barry Lynn to die soon. He recently prayed for Lowes Home Improvement stores to perform well.

Click here for the audio recording. *Warning, the first few seconds are intense – turn down the volume. In fact, this transcript is probably safest.*

Transcript of Klingenschmitt’s prayer:

Let us pray,

Almighty God, please bless Lowes Home Improvement stores for their wise decision to stop advertising for the TV show All-American Muslims, which is nothing but Islamic propaganda designed to whitewash the fact that practitioners of militant Islam not only slaughtered over 3000 American civilians, but routinely kill millions of Christians worldwide.

Bless the Florida Family Association who led the way by exposing the deeds of darkness, from Ephesians 5:11, and grant Lowes’ their greatest financial profits for standing against real violent hatred, not the fake “hate” and “bigotry” they are now accused of by terrorist sympathizers.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

You aren’t about to catch me defending Islam. Read basically anything by Maryam Namazie for reasons why we shouldn’t. Perhaps a case could be made to ‘defend American Muslims from slander’ as opposed to defending the religious doctrines they follow. But that conversation is done to death elsewhere.

What strikes me here is that the good chaplain is now using his magic powers to try to increase sales at Lowes stores. Luckily for Home Depot, magic isn’t real.

Klingonshit still uses the title ‘Chaplain’ in all of his messages. They are all bizarre and spiteful, and each of his YouTube videos begin with that same piercing high-pitch whistle. I swear he also ‘likes’ and comments on his own videos with a sock puppet account ‘healthnbeauty1’ (these videos regularly have single digit total views).

This is how I feel when I read anything about Klingenschmitt:

Thanks to facebook friend Jim M. for the link.

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Ugh. Evening prayer is my least favorite part of being in the Navy.

  • tuibguy

    So how many of the people killed in the WTC were non-Christians? How many were Muslims, atheists, Jews, pagans? How the fuck does he know that they were all Christians? I guess it is because in the United States we are all Christian by default, until we state otherwise.

  • Well, to be fair, if I had a name like Klingonshit, I would be surly too…

  • I put people like Klingenshit-for-brains in the same category as the likes of Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Fred Phelps…vile hate mongers at best and the absolute worst humanity has to offer…the world can’t be free of them soon enough

  • Justin Griffith

    Agreed, Sakura.

    Chaplain Kleenexsnot (and his sockpuppet) are the only ones watching his videos, though.

    There must be a line of religious people begging him to just stop talking.

  • Bruce Winningham

    This just reinforces my decision to stop shopping at Lowe’s.

  • Makoto

    Of course, the group behind the effort for Lowe’s to pull their ads also claims that Home Depot won’t be advertising –

  • Interesting, I heard a Lowes advertisement on the opening of “The thinking Atheist” podcast a month or so ago..

  • Justin Griffith

    John, you should send that in to the Florida Family ASSociation.

    Shit, if you edit down the audio, I’ll premiere the controversy right here 😀 (and delete this comment like a sneaky guy.)

  • Aquaria

    I haven’t set foot in a Lowe’s, ever, but that had been because I never lived in a place that had one. However, I resolved never to set foot in one as long as I lived when they dug up a centuries old tree for their Northwest San Antonio store without one regard for the hundreds of people who were pleading with them to do something sensible to save the tree, like, oh, building their stupid parking lot around it. I had to drive by that poor, felled majesty and it made me weep, every time, to see it uprooted and lying on its side, waiting for the final indignity of being hacked to bits.

    So Lowe’s didn’t have any lower they could go with me, but let’s say that this is further reason never to set foot anywhere near one of their scumbag rip-off centers.

  • Seamus Ruah

    “but routinely kill millions of Christians worldwide.”

    Dear Gordon Shitferbrains,

    Citation please…

  • Erp

    It wasn’t over 3000 Americans killed in 9/11 since about 350 of those killed (which was a bit under 3000 not including the attackers) were not American. I understand the number of Muslim victims was at least 30. It is estimated that about 400 of the victims were Jewish.

    As for millions of Christians killed worldwide, if I remember correctly the last really massive killing of Christians (though not because they were Christians) was in Rwanda in 1994 where some 800,000 were killed. However, they were killed by their fellow Christians. The genocide of the Armenians by Turkish Muslims killed between 1 and 1.5 million Christians some 90 years ago. The partition of India killed between 200,000 and a million people but that was Hindu on Muslim and Muslim on Hindu violence.

    Smaller scale killings include the ongoing attacks in Nigeria (though this is both Muslim on Christian and Christian on Muslim) and Southern Sudan. Muslims probably remember Srebrenica in 1995 when 8000 Muslim Bosnians were murdered by Orthodox Christian Serbs; Christians the attacks on the Iraqi Christian communities and the new threats to the Egyptian Coptic communities.

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