Off the record, Sgt. Griffith is doing the work of Satan

Off the record, Sgt. Griffith is doing the work of Satan April 23, 2012

Enough time has passed that I can share this bizarre little story. A powerful chaplain refused to speak to the press about RBB, citing an unverified order from above. He just couldn’t help himself from saying something.

A documentary is in post-production right now about the lead up to RBB, keep an eye out. Scott Burdick, the filmmaker, relayed his experience talking to Chaplain (Lt. Col.) Antonio McElroy. Scott called the Garrison Chaplain’s office, hoping to speak to any chaplain about the pending festival. Chaplain McElroy’s reply:

“All the chaplains on post are under orders not to speak about the atheist festival. But off the record… Sgt. Griffith is doing the work of Satan himself.

He then suggested that Scott Burdick get in touch with David Druckenmiller, the retired chaplain who left an embarrassing wall of text rant on my blog’s comment section more than a year ago.  I’ll refrain from directly responding, and take comfort that many chaplains are not like this at all.

The greatest trick that Christianity ever pulled was convincing the world that the devil exists.

Obviously, I don’t believe in gods or devils. However, Satan is a concept that makes no sense to me. If he’s supposed to be the epitome of evil, why is he also associated with punishing evil? Isn’t he really just doing god’s work? It’s like he’s simply god in a BDSM outfit.

What about god’s supposed omnipresence? If god is really everywhere, this includes ‘hell’ too. This god is also inside the ‘guts’ of every fallen angel, including Satan. That same god was also inside the murderers and rapists during their ‘sin’. This god is inside the hellbound people who didn’t love Jesus… self-hate?

Perhaps that chaplain’s comment about me was instead meant as a compliment! He’s simply referring to what a Good Guy Lucifer is!

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  • Steve

    Remember that it was god who lied supposedly lied to Adam and Eve about the Tree of Knowledge by claiming that eating from it would cause them to die. And of course it was a setup or trap since he knew that they would eat from it. He tricked humans who couldn’t tell right from wrong. If the snake was sent by Satan, then Satan was the good guy.

    Also, god killed A LOT more people than Satan in the Bible

  • Aliasalpha

    Well someone has to do satan’s work, non-existance makes doing stuff rather hard you know

  • Robin

    If telling the truth is “Satan’s work” and deceiving people is what religion does, I’m glad you’re doing such a good job.

  • That’s why they weren’t supposed to speak about it–because it would expose them for the superstitious fools they really are.

  • So much for ecumenical tolerance! I guess they draw the line at not believing in any brand of sky fairy.

  • Reginald Selkirk

    The hating on Satan needs to stop. He deserved that Stanley Cup.

  • Did you send your rebuttal letter to Mr. Druckenmiller? I’d love to know what his reaction/response was!!

  • Justin Griffith

    @7 jatheist yeah, he read my rebuttal (which you can read in that link). He sent me a second (and even longer) embarrassing email. I’ll post it some day. Keep forgetting!

  • Steph Bazzle

    Ah, but “God lied to Adam and Eve”….that’s not quite true. (Please bear in mind that I am responding to this as I would with any other story characters- I would also discuss what Jubal Harshaw didn’t do, what Huck Finn didn’t say, etc. Discussing what the various biblical people ‘did’ does not imply any suggestion that they existed.)

    God told them that if they ate of the tree, they would surely die. Until they ate from it, the intent was, I believe, that the two of them would be God’s pets to eternity. Maybe you might even call Eden a fountain of youth- maybe if they’d stayed there, their kids (born with no pain in childbirth) would’ve gone out, roamed the world, died in due time, and Adam and Eve would’ve lived on forever. Maybe all people were to be eternal, and they would’ve reproduced only enough to populate the Earth. Either way, because they ate of the tree, they lost that. I don’t think God ever said, “If you eat it, I won’t be able to prevent you dying,” or “If you eat it, you’ll die instantly,” or anything else to imply that just having eventual death added to their plans- by God’s own will- wasn’t what he meant.

  • Justin Griffith

    @ #9

    Yes, but isn’t the omnipresent god also literally inside Adam and Eve’s mouths? Isn’t he too sinning against himself? It’s all very silly if a god is omnipresent.

    Also, if god is omnipresent… how the fuck did he ‘create man in his image’? Why the fuck don’t we look like goddamned universes?

  • syd


    Maybe it depends on the translation, but at least in the King James Version it sounds as if they were supposed to die instantly:

    “But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die”

    There’s also a “Tree of Life” in the garden and God seems concerned that Adam and Eve might realize its potential now that they’re intelligent:

    “And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

    Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken”

  • Waitaminit! If Adam and Eve didn’t even understand the concept of “good” and “evil”, how would they know they were disobeying? It is good to behave according to laws and rules, but without knowing what good is, how can you even understand the concept of “you must not do something, for your own good.”?

    Sophistimacated Theology FTW!

  • P Whorton

    “That there is a devil there is no doubt. But is he trying to get in or try to get out?” I heard that poem if you can call it that from a 70s made for TV horror movie. It has really stuck with me. If we can use the word Devil or Satan in any rational form it seems it should refer to the actions or en-actions of human beings and not to a made up super villain.

  • M Groesbeck

    I’ve always found the “Satan” character (who appears in the Bible as the designated prosecuting attorney for the Great Fascist in the Sky) less interesting than the “Lucifer” character (a product of a poetic metaphor being translated as a literal entity; usually used as a figure who gets pissed of that the Great Fascist in the Sky is an utter asshole). I mean, as fictional characters go I tend to feel a bit more affection for the ones who rebel against the evil overlord than the ones who keep working for him.

  • Tony

    Steph Bazzle @9:

    God told them that if they ate of the tree, they would surely die.

    -If we get technical, God only told Adam. Genesis Chapter 2:15-17 has God telling Adam not to eat from the tree or he will die. This is before he created Eve though. It wasn’t until Chapter 2:21-22 that she was created. Eve does speak to the serpent about knowing not to eat from the tree, but I find it odd that God specifically told Adam, but not Eve.

  • Bob Dowling

    Surely if you are doing the work of Satan he’s calling you a Chaplain (albeit for the Church of Satan). Rumour (a.k.a. the british press) has it that Satanism is a recognised religion in the US military.

  • @JustinGriffith #8

    I really enjoyed the crazy letter and your rebuttal – I look forward to reading the second crazy email/letter he sent you! I sure hope you remember to post it soon! 😉

  • I am really looking forward to Scott Burdick’s documentary. He did a stellar job telling Steven Hewett’s story with “In God We Trust”, …without giving any bias either way, and plenty of irrational rope for the deluded to hang themselves with.

  • Seamus Ruah

    Even worse…you could be doing the work of Stan.

    You know Stan, Satan’s older brother…

  • GOD’s inside Satan, too? Satan’s an altar boy? Who knew?

    ““All the chaplains on post are under orders not to speak about the atheist festival. But off the record… Sgt. Griffith is doing the work of Satan himself.“”

    In the first place; all the chaplains are more likely under orders not to speak about event PUBLICLY with people they DON’T KNOW. Secondly; “off the record” stops as soon as you open your mouth to a journalist, author, film maker or investigator.

    Gordon KKKlingstoshit:

    Your MMFJ* contingent might just be doubling in size, sooner rather than later.

    * Military Martyrs For Jesus

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  • michelleshults

    What Bull Shit from a Damned Chaplain!

    To say that You of all people are doing Satan’s work! I don’t believe in God,nor do I believe in Satan!

    So-Called Christians are the most Judgemental;Two-Faced Fuckers in the World!

    We Atheists are generally kind;caring;understanding;Non-Judgemental People!

    Why do Christians pick on us-People whom Live in Glass Houses should not be throwing Rocks!

    Sorry for the Foul Language-I was in the Army, too (in the 80’s) when it was even worse to be an Atheist than it is now) as was my Husband-he is beginning to come around to my way of thinking and to see my Logic in the Bull Shit in the Fucking Bible-The Bible is filled with Rape;Murder;Beastiality;Incest and other Smut-it is the most Adult Novel out there!