30 Laps Around The Sun

30 Laps Around The Sun January 21, 2013

dont trust anyone over 30

I’ve officially made it 30 laps around the sun.

It’s going to be tough not being able to trust myself, now that I’m old. I’ve become ‘the system’. If somebody would have told teenage me I was going to join the military, I’d have asked them for some of whatever drugs they were on.

My 20’s were weird, so I’m sure that my 30’s are going to be completely normal. I guarantee that I won’t regret typing that – no, sir.

My wife is giving me a ton of shit. It’s payback for all the crap I pulled on her. She is a little over a year older than I am. I told her that she was a ‘cougar’ and a ‘cradle robber’, and that I felt like a ‘grave robber’ for the extreme age disparity. I had numbers to back me up.

When she turned 30, she was ‘in her 30’s’. I kept telling her that this was actually her fourth decade, though. [noughts, teens, twenties, thirties].

I relentlessly reminded her, “Now that you’re 30, you’re 40. You’re on your fourth decade. A decade is 10 years. And you’re with a dashing young man in his twenties!”

She would roll her eyes. Then she would grimace as if she were jotting down some sort of mental note to get back at me in a year or so. I’m doomed.

In case you haven’t seen it yet – here’s a much better ‘birthday song’. It’s by atheist and RBB: Fort Bragg performer, Jeffrey Lewis. He recounts major milestones on his way to old age (he’s not old in real life though). I know that usually when a blogger posts some music video it just means “click the hell off that blog!” This one is special, I promise.

‘Back When I Was Four’


Browse Our Archives