We all want to be effective communicators with our families, friends, and coworkers. However, we often miss the mark with sometimes dire consequences that can damage our relationships. So, why do we communicate so poorly so often? I submit that we get one or more of the 4Ms of Effective Communication wrong, which are: The Messenger – Who says the message The Message – What is said The Method – How the message is said The Moment – When the... Read more
When I was twenty years old, I did something that no Christian young man was supposed to do. I got my girlfriend pregnant. I can still remember, like it was yesterday, the moment I received the phone call from her to give me the news. She was crying. She was confused. And, she was terrified because she knew that she would have to tell her father, who had not quite embraced the idea of me dating his daughter. Plus, since... Read more
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about a problem his firm was having getting people to take action on social media posts. Specifically, they were trying to get more folks to sign up for a free course. So, they decided to do a test. Instead of asking someone to sign up for the course first, which was a bigger commitment, they decided to ask them to do something smaller, like click to agree with a statement. Then, after... Read more
I recently met a young man from an Ivy League university that started a pro-life group on his campus. I am always excited to see men take a proactive stand for the sanctity of life, so I thanked him for his leadership. And then I asked if there was a particular obstacle he faced where I could be helpful. Without hesitation, he told me the pro-choice folks on campus often tell him that since he cannot get pregnant and... Read more
No doubt, you have seen that Stormy Daniels, the porn “star” who allegedly had a sexual liaison with Donald Trump, has become a media darling. Now, given the stark partisan divide in our nation, there is a tendency to view this story solely through a political lens. However, I am most concerned about what this story, and how it is treated in the public square, says about our culture. You see, her infamy is troubling. After all, this is a... Read more
Recently, I started facilitating a men’s class for a group of fathers in a homeless shelter’s residential treatment program. I am using National Fatherhood Initiative’s evidence-based program called 24/7 Dad, which is designed to help men develop the skills they need to be involved, responsible and committed fathers. This is much needed by the guys in my class because years of substance abuse and addiction have frayed their connections to their children. As a class icebreaker, I gave each father... Read more
A few years ago, I participated in an Oprah Life Class with Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant. (You can see a clip of the show here.) The goal of the show was to address the troubling epidemic of sons growing up without their fathers. As support for the show, I was asked to write an article about what sons need from their fathers. Below is what I wrote: __________________________________________________________________________ I am often asked what sons need from their fathers. My answer really... Read more
Recently, I was struggling to forgive someone. As a Christian, I knew that I should forgive, but it seemed that every time I replayed in my mind what this person had done to me, forgiving them was just so hard to do. You see, forgiveness is a sacrifice…a living sacrifice. Why? Because to truly forgive, you must put to death your “right” to take revenge, to spread gossip, or to give the offending party anything else you believe he or... Read more
Recently, my pastor preached a Christmas season sermon on giving. As part of an illustration to emphasize a key point, he asked the congregation, by a show of hands, if anyone had ever “regifted” something they received. Well, as I scanned the congregation of hundreds, there was not a single hand raised. Not one. I mean really…There was not a single vegan in the church who received a “meat of the month club” gift card? And what about a rabid... Read more
In 1982, there was a popular off-Broadway musical called “Little Shop of Horrors” that presented an entertaining and accurate allegory about the consequences of not dealing properly and promptly with temptations to do evil. The main character in the play was Seymour Krelborn, a hapless fellow who worked at a skid row flower shop. He was frustrated with his lot in life and the only bright spot was a pretty co-worker named Audrey. Seymour was in love with Audrey, but,... Read more
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