You may savor many things throughout your life. The smell of fresh roses in your garden, a sip of fine wine, even time gathered with close friends or family. But savoring motherhood? That might not be a word most of us would use for the daily chaos of wrangling children, transporting to sports games, helping with homework, cooking a meal, figuring out common core math (yikes!) or picking up dirty socks for the 100th time. We don’t necessarily savor the changing of diapers or sleepless nights, the stink of our teenage boys’ bedroom or the drama of our daughter’s first breakup.
Savoring or Surviving?
Perhaps Surviving Motherhood might be a better title for this new Patheos column which focuses on topics of foster care, adoption, and traditional and trauma parenting. If you are in any season of parenthood, from dreaming of a little one someday to navigating college applications, I write for you. If you are simply surviving the journey and wondering if there’s anyone out there who understands, I write for you. I’m smack in the middle of this journey with four kids under my roof. Savoring often looks more like surviving in my world.
Mary is an Example of Savoring
Amidst the wonder of this Christmas season full of family and traditions, I invite you to spend a moment taking it all in. A moment to Savor. Mary the mother of Jesus is an example for us of a woman who knew how to savor. From the moment the angel Gabriel frightened her with the announcement that she was carrying a child out of wedlock, to almost being led to ruin by the man she loved, she is the embodiment of a woman who had every reason to simply survive rather than savor. Yet Luke 2:19 tells us:
But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.
When the shepherds reached Mary and Joseph and proclaimed the words told them by the angels, those who heard were amazed. But Mary poured herself into something else. She treasured up. She pondered. She savored.
In the Greek, the term treasured up points to an act of keeping something close, of making a mental effort to remember. Her act of treasuring was a gathering of the memories of her divine child, a savoring of the birth of her son, the cherishing of the good moments while the difficulties fade with time. Further in the verse, Mary is pondering things in her heart. The Greek word can mean to keep safe or to keep carefully. Mary’s reflections could easily have centered on the rough donkey ride, the door-to-door rejections, or the unconventional birthing room full of animals, odors, and barnyard braying. Rather, her memories were treasured. Held close. Savored.
Being Intentional about Savoring
My husband and I are parents to four boys, all close in age and all adopted from foster care. Trauma from the past has caused extreme defiance in my youngest, and just this morning our regular routine was thrown into turmoil as we helped him through his emotions. I understand the chaos of motherhood. Over the past 5 days, though, we had a breakthrough with him which meant today was only a bump in the winding road toward healing. Focusing on the good 5 days rather than the rough morning has me on a path of savoring motherhood. We must be intentional at looking for the moments and memories to savor. They are present in our everyday lives and finding them will set our parenting on a course that is pleasing to the Lord.
Together on the Road to Savoring
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8
Our intentional desire to savor the moments of our everyday mothering is a living embodiment of this verse. Perhaps this coming year can have us changing tracks in how we view our unique role of parenting. The moments, days and years with the children God has entrusted to us are fleeting. More than simply surviving, let’s journey together on the road to savoring this divine task of motherhood.
Until next week, my savoring friend!
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