Lists upon lists. In life we write lists for many things.
To do lists
Laundry lists
Honey Do lists
Packing lists
But do we ever take time to write a Parenting List?
In life we set goals for many things.
When to start a career
What age you hope to marry
The kind of parent you want to be
The tasks you want to finish today
But do you have short and long term goals for your children?
Setting Short and Long Term Goals
A few years ago my husband and I began to ask these 4 questions. I invite you to join me to imagine:
- Where do you want your kids to be in 5, 10 and 15 years?
- What do you want your kids to have accomplished in 5, 10 and 15 years?
- Which skills or life experiences need to be implemented to reach that goal?
- Name two critical areas you will help develop in your kids this year to steer toward the goal.
Seeing so many raising kids with attitudes of entitlement was the impetus to the 2 things we wanted to develop in our kids that year.
- A strong work ethic
- Financially savvy children
You Don’t Work, You Don’t Eat
It was but a few days later that we had opportunity to begin working toward those 2 goals.
Raking a large pile of leaves, my oldest (7 at the time) declared that his task was complete after less than a minute. He was too tired to finish. Grandma looked him straight in the eye and told him, “In this family, if you don’t work, you don’t eat.” That boy loves to eat, so the rake was in his hand and leaves were bagged in record time. Proud of his efforts, he declared that he’d worked hard, so was now allowed to eat! From that day on, “you don’t work, you don’t eat” has been a common saying in our family. It is a reminder of what II Thessalonians 3:10 tells us.
If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.
Establishing a Routine of Chores
Being part of a family means you participate and pitch in, no matter how young. It’s necessary to teach this from the youngest age possible. At 2 years old is when we got rolling. Mamas, it is so crucial for you to let your kids help.
You do not need to do it all yourself.
Who needed to hear that?
We tied our financial training to a strong chores work ethic.
For an entire year before implementing our finance training, the boys followed a schedule of small chores. They did not get an ‘allowance’ for any of it. A family works together as a unit to keep the household running. There are daily pick up and weekly housekeeping chores, tasks before and after each mealtime and before bedtime. All four boys are involved in the running of the household.
You must not force yourself to run ragged because you are:
- thinking only you can do the job right
- believe that if you’re not working every moment, you are not honoring Christ
- thinking your kids are too young to pitch in
Those types of thoughts produce nothing but guilt in us, Mamas. Our ministry is to the children God has entrusted to us, a ministry with an end goal of watching them fly with a solid foundation in Christ and in knowledge of the basic building blocks of success in life. As basic as knowing how to clean a toilet and count out change.
Teamwork, following instructions and good solid work is the point of chores. A large chart with pictures of each chore is helpful for younger kids. We included pictures of each boy and placed it next to the chore they would have for the week. The chores are changed weekly to ensure they are learning a well rounded routine and not getting bored with what they’re doing. And the best part? Mom and Dad aren’t up until the late night hours picking up toys!
Introducing the Paycheck
Let the daily chores routine sink in before sitting down to give the exciting news: the kids are getting a paycheck! The long term goal is to set a firm foundation of healthy money practices. The short term is really to build character. Teaching finances dovetails nicely into the curbing of the entitlement attitude. Two key areas help our kids lean into the lifelong understanding of work>pay>buy.
- Understanding that household items are not free.
- Working a job is how money is earned to buy these items.
Patterning this goal-reaching exercise after real world experiences is a parenting win. Will an allowance be given when our children are in the adult world? We stayed away from the ‘allowance’ term as it didn’t set real-world expectations. I now hand out paychecks every other week and have a sticker on the calendar so the kids know when to expect Paycheck Friday.
What if They Don’t Do Their Chores?
Another opportunity to teach real-world living is when a child does not want to do their chores. It might happen often at the beginning. First, show grace and find out why. Perhaps the chore is too difficult or they don’t understand it. Its also quite possible that they just don’t want to work! Since it’s frowned upon to not feed kids if they don’t work (surely there’s a labor law in there!) we did what would happen if we simply chose not to work at our own adult jobs.
Their pay was docked. We had times when one boy watched his brothers get their pay and he sat with nothing.
Set up a System of Give, Save, Spend
Consider what suits your finances best for the amount to pay. We use their age as the dollar amount they receive. Each boy has a large pouch that holds three wallets labeled Savings, Spending and Giving. Every paycheck is handed out in dollar bills or quarters so it can be divided between their wallets. They are required to put at least one coin or bill in each wallet each payday. Don’t worry about percentages at this young age, what is being taught is a habit of saving and giving before spending.
Goodbye Shopping Checkout Drama
Since introducing the paycheck, our shopping experience has drastically changed. The boys now look at price tags, ask how long it will take for them to save up for the toy they want and pitch in on buying presents for their friend’s birthdays. And closest to their mama’s heart is how they race for the clearance racks to find better deals!
Keep Your Eyes on the Goal
Financially savvy kids. Hard working kids. It is a goal that we hope and pray will set the foundation for our boys to be hard working and money smart kids in a world that desperately needs to learn those values and skills.
Dear mama, how can I help you implement this? In the comments section let me know if you’d like any of the following. I’ll be thrilled to email them to you.
- Age appropriate chore list
- Printable graphic of chore names to use in your chore chart
- Number of recommended chores per age group
- Photos of how we organized our chores and financial wallets
Next week, my sweet friend, I will expand this article to walk you through how we handle finances now that our boys are in their early to middle teens! Until then, my savvy friend.
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