The Epsteins Of The Southern Baptist Church

Two older men—one in a zip-up sweater, the other in a blazer—stand shoulder to shoulder smiling for a selfie on a tropical beach. The image evokes eerie friendliness and visual irony. — This image was created using DALL·E and is intended as satirical commentary. It does not depict a real relationship but symbolizes the institutional protection of abusers in both political and religious systems.

The MAGA mob won’t shut up about the “Epstein files.” They want the names—demanding to know which elites were part of some sinister pedophile cabal, furiously convinced a client list is out there, buried by the so-called deep state.

Meanwhile, the Southern Baptist Convention has a real list. Not a myth. Not a fantasy. An actual database of confirmed abusers—promised, publicized, and still empty.

You want the names? So do I. But I’m not chasing shadows—I’m looking at the goddamn church directory.

The Myth of the “Epstein Files”

Let’s get this straight: there is no Epstein client list. Not in any real, documented, court-admissible sense. There’s no secret log. No blackmail ledger. The obsession with it is pure fiction—useful propaganda for a movement that’s learned truth is optional as long as the rage is real.

And the irony? The man they rally behind—their golden calf in a red tie—was openly friends with Epstein. Donald Trump is the only name you could confidently predict would’ve shown up on such a list if it ever existed. He partied, posed, and palled around with Epstein for years. He publicly admired Epstein’s taste in “young women.” He’s been found liable for sexual assault. And still, his base froths at the mouth for the “real” villains—conveniently imagined as anyone but him.

The SBC’s Actual Blacklist—Buried

Now shift your gaze from QAnon message boards to the Southern Baptist Convention’s press releases. For years, survivors have demanded a simple thing: an accessible database of known abusers within the denomination—those convicted, those found liable, those who confessed. A bare minimum safeguard for churches. A warning system for the vulnerable.

In 2023, the SBC finally launched a website promising just that: the Ministry Check database. It was hailed as historic. Groundbreaking. A step toward healing.

But today? Still empty.

Why? Legal concerns. Budget issues. Bureaucratic apathy. You know, the usual: protect the brand, not the flock.

After nearly two decades of fighting for reform, survivors like Tiffany Thigpen are done holding their breath. “So now we are off the hook for hope,” she said. It wasn’t cynicism—it was clarity.

Parallel Tactics: Lies, Delays, Distractions

What unites MAGA world and the SBC isn’t just politics or performative piety—it’s a shared playbook.

MAGA & Epstein: Conjure villains. Stoke paranoia. Ignore who’s actually in the photos.
SBC & Abuse: Stage reform. Build the site. Leave it empty. Pray no one checks.

Both rely on their base’s short memory. Both count on outrage fatigue. And both are perfectly comfortable sacrificing victims if it means the power structure stays intact.

Protecting Power > Protecting People

It’s not about truth—it’s about control. In MAGA land, Trump remains untouchable. In the SBC, the pulpit remains protected. Either way, abusers get sanctuary, and survivors get silence.

Trump was close to Epstein—and he’s also been close to Johnny Hunt, former SBC president and Southern Baptist royalty. Hunt, like Trump, was accused of sexual assault. Hunt, like Trump, denied it—until the evidence made denial impossible. And Hunt, like Trump, was welcomed back by his peers with open arms. One got a Netflix documentary. The other got his pulpit back (for a little while).

This isn’t accountability. It’s performance. And the faithful are expected to clap.

Why This Isn’t Just Hypocrisy—It’s Strategy

Here’s the part that stings: the system wants it this way.

Both MAGA and the SBC benefit from confusion. From distraction. From making the public so numb and cynical that nothing sticks anymore. When facts become negotiable, the powerful are never in danger.

Delay long enough, and truth rots into trivia. Headlines fade. Committees dissolve. Survivors lose hope. The crowd moves on. And the predators—the ones with pulpits, platforms, and private jets—get to keep circling.d

Call-Out

You want the Epstein files? Look in the pulpits and the pews.

The SBC doesn’t need another task force or another round of “prayerful consideration.” It needs to name names. It needs to stop protecting abusers and start protecting the people in its care.

But it won’t—because the real conspiracy isn’t hidden.

It’s in plain sight.

And it’s still preaching on Sunday.