I know a lot of songs by their tune, but I can’t really tell you who sang them or anything like that. In other words, I never studied or paid attention to the music as much as I liked the rhythm and beauty of it. So, the only U2 lyrics I remember are, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” It resonates with me because I am adventurous by heart and I’m always looking over the next horizon.
One of the main reasons I was frustrated was because I was always trying to fit in. I felt out of place early in life and I tried to fit in all through college and in my early career. When I became a pastor, it worked well for me to blend into the community and become like them. I didn’t necessarily have a great vision for them because they already knew who they were and what they wanted to accomplish. I was really a player on their stage, and I quickly learned what was expected and delivered it. That was until year 20, when I finally said to Laura, “I can’t do this anymore.”
When I finally started to ask question like, “What do I really believe?” and “What if I am wrong?” that I discovered not only what I believed but who I genuinely am. Now that I have a better idea of who I really am, I feel more satisfied because I am living more authentically. I don’t always do what people expect me to do, but I know what I am looking for and I am more able to find satisfaction.
I think it is a mistake to imagine we can be satisfied with every outcome in our lives. We may never get everything we imagine, but we can discover what we are looking for and more often find satisfaction.
Being of OF God and looking inward, we discover our true self and authenticity. Being who we are doesn’t mean everyone will accept us, but it will clarify what we are looking for. When we know what we are looking for, we are more apt to find it and be satisfied.
Be where you are, Be who you are,
Karl Forehand
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