“Like a Fish, Standing on the Beach”[1]

This phrase is the title of an episode of Rob Bell’s podcast, The Robcast. In it, he asks, “In the home you grew up in, did you hear the message, ‘Life is an adventure you’re invited to experience’ or ‘Life is a burden to bear’?” Reflecting on this question enables us to evaluate whether we are still affected by negative environmental messages. To move forward, our perspective is vital for uncovering new insights and breaking free from harmful messages and conditioning.
In Bell’s illustration, the water represents our conditioning, where we receive messages that everyone else in the water has accepted. It was the water that we swam in where we unconsciously were too close to the conditioning to even realize that we were being indoctrinated and influenced. When the fish was relocated from the water, it could consciously observe what was happening as it swam in the water. Before, it was too close to the generational trauma and inherited assumptions to consciously object or strive to do anything different.
The fish now has a new obligation to realize that it has been in the water for a long time, and it will take some time to recondition itself to what it is consciously observing and discovering now. To stop telling itself the same story, it must remove itself from the water and gain true perspective. Then, it can learn to tell itself consciously a new story based on truth, consciousness, and a more robust intuition.
In the early stages of my deconstruction, I certainly felt like a “fish out of water,” but I eventually grew comfortable with consciousness and an ever-evolving new perspective. I felt like a toddler learning to walk, but then I took the first step and another. Eventually, I gained the confidence to evolve past my conditioning to write my own story.
Bare Bones
I enjoy watching shows where they completely tear apart a house’s interior and renovate it, keeping only the “bones” and transforming everything else. This is a helpful analogy when we think about the challenges of remodeling a home while still living in it. It complicates daily life and also hampers the process of efficient deconstruction and reconstruction. This visualization reminds us to gain distance from what we are tearing down, allowing us to heal and effectively rebuild afterward. I’ve observed homes where occupants reside while renovations take place. This often results in visible patchwork and minor repairs that most visitors can clearly identify as poorly executed.
A few good things came from attending church all those years, but most of it can be replicated elsewhere without all the fuss and bother of going to a building to support an organization. Whatever metaphor or illustration you assign to your deconstruction, you must consciously get out of the water you were swimming in or the house you are remodeling to effectively heal and process what you are discovering. Otherwise, to use Bell’s illustration, you will be continually reconditioned by the environment you experience.
Be where you are, be who you are, be at peace!
Karl Forehand
Travel Tips for the Desert – Part 3
Travel Tips for the Desert – Part 2
Travel Tips for the Desert – Part 1
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Karl Forehand is a former pastor, podcaster, and award-winning author. His books include Out into the Desert, Leaning Forward, Apparent Faith: What Fatherhood Taught Me About the Father’s Heart, The Tea Shop and Being: A Journey Toward Presence and Authenticity. He is the creator of The Desert Sanctuary podcast and community. He is married to his wife Laura of 35 years and has one dog named Winston. His three children are grown and are beginning to multiply! You can read more about the author here.
[1] https://robbell.com/podcast-episode/like-a-fish-standing-on-the-beach/