WTF? Jesus with an anus?

WTF? Jesus with an anus? October 1, 2008

DESPITE Spain’s increasing secularity, there are many stores and market stalls still flogging all manner of religious figurines and other forms of Christian iconography in gaudy colours and embellished, for no apparent reason, with spangly stuff and seashells and the like.
But here’s one that had me completely flummoxed – Jesus with a gaping sphincter.  Or an inexplicable hole where his penis ought to be.

I spotted the object in a large store in Benidorm, on the Costa Blanca, which specialises in knives, swords, replica guns, models of military vehicles and aircraft, as well as Nazi memorabilia – but the symbolism of this tacky tableau – measuring about 6″x8″ – remains a complete mystery to me.
The crucified Christ lies on top of what appears to be a coffin, with soldiers bearing arms at each corner.
And then there’s the word “Franco” on the flag or banner draped over the box.
Will someone please tell me what the damn thing signifies – and why this ghastly piece of tat should retail at an exorbitant 119 euros – that’s well over 100 quid at today’s exchange rate!
Time, I think, for Emily Mapfuwa to spring into action …

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  • Stuart H.

    But he’s still a dick on a cross!

  • It looks to me a little like a statue I once saw in a museum somewhere of the ithyphallic Egypian god Min: it too had a hole where his willy ought to have been.
    My understanding of the Egyptian religious practice was that the phallus was a separate (and sacred) object that was inserted into the hole. I can’t remember whether it had just got lost over the millennia or whether they only put it in on special occasions.
    As for this tableau, the crucifix would appear to be lying in state. Unless I’m mistaken, the soldiers are in Republican uniforms, which might imply that they are guarding the body of the church which has “died” through its association with Franco. But that’s a wild guess.

  • Barry Duke

    The Heresiarch has just reminded me that, at the shop where I have a part-time job, we sell the Tom of Finland Rebel Doll which has a hole in which one can insert a choice of two erect penises – one circumcised, the other not. The display model is frequently seen with just a hole. Bloody customers keep nicking the dicks!

  • Marcus

    Ask a Catholic to design a toothpick holder, and this is what you wind up with!