No Bible for Walliams on his desert island

No Bible for Walliams on his desert island February 23, 2009

WITH the words “I don’t want the Bible. I don’t like the Bible” comedy star David Walliams, 37, today joined a tiny band of guests on BBC Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs who have refused to be marooned with the “holy” book.

David Walliams
David Walliams
His choice of a gun as “a luxury” item also came as a surprise to presenter Kirsty Young, according to this report.
He explained:

I would like to take a gun because I don’t like being on my own, so if I really start hating it I’m going to shoot myself.

All guests on the long-running show are given the holy book, plus the Complete Works Of Shakespeare, when they are cast away on their fictional island.
Last year opera director David McVicar refused the Bible, but Kirsty Young told him the only permissible substitute would be another religious text.
Writer Tariq Ali also refused the book last year, and Joe Simpson, the climber who crawled for three days back to base camp when he smashed his leg in the Andes, refused the Bible in 2004.
Outspoken Seventies showjumper Harvey Smith refused to name a book he would take to a desert island, not even Shakespeare or the Bible – but his stance was not secular. He told original presenter Roy Plomley:

I’ve never read a book in my life and don’t intend to start for you, sir.

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  • Angela K

    ……Kirsty Young told him the only permissible substitute would be another religious text.
    Well how about Prof. Dawkins “The God Delusion” that is a book about religion, so should be permissible.

  • Kirsty Young told him the only permissible substitute would be another religious text.

    Does The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster count as a religious text?

  • Last year opera director David McVicar refused the Bible, but Kirsty Young told him the only permissible substitute would be another religious text.
    Take it. You might need kindling.
    (Just kidding. I detest the notion of burning books, even if they are religious twaddle. )

  • Michael

    How about that best seller —–“Welcome to JesusLand! (Formerly the United States of America): Shocking Tales of Depravity, Sex, and Sin Uncovered by God’s Favorite Church, Landover Baptist”–You can get it from Amazon or directly from the only true Church
    Landover Baptist Church in Freehold Iowa

  • When Sue Lawley asked Philip Pullman (author of allegedly anti-Catholic His Dark Materials trilogy) what book he would take to his desert island, she added, “I suppose you don’t want the Bible.” He replied, “Oh yes, there are lots of good stories in the Bible.”
    I recall another radio interview (not DID) of Douglas Adams. The interviewer asked him how come God featured in his books, when he was an atheist. Adams replied, “My books are full of fictional characters.”

  • Badger3k

    I’d take the bible – lots of pages to start fires or wipe your posterior. Heck, you can burn a page while reading Shakespeare.

  • valdemar

    Thanks for reminding me of Harvey Smith. No, really. And my opinion of Mr Walliams just went up a notch. Mind you, the gun remark does suggest he’s taking this frothy show a mite too seriously.

  • Rozi

    Jeremey Clarkson said that he’d use the bible for kindling. It would seem rare words of wisdom occasionally escape his reactionary hole.

  • Vic Reeves also refused the Bible on DID — his reaction when offered it was rather rather visceral, if I recall… something along the lines of “You know where you can stick that”.

  • Alun

    I’d take the bible with me. I could use it to indocrinate the natives. They’d become servants of god and his prophet(me). Religion does have its uses after all.

  • Stonyground

    Buffy, I also think that book burning is pretty despicable although now that most books are available in multiple copies I think that the act is symbolic though no less reprehensible. However I think that using a book that you have no use for, in a survival situation, for lighting fires is not really the same thing. As for the rule that the only substitute that is allowed is another religious text, my reply would have been “Why? I personally can’t think of anything more useless” I also can’t think of anything more useful than the SAS Survival handbook by John Wiseman and as a luxury The tobacco tin described therein.
    Valdemar, yes I agree that the show is really just a bit of fun, especially when with a solar panel and an ipod there would be no reason for the modern castaway to narrow down the choice of music so much. However the concept does allow us to indulge in some moderately serious thought about how you would deal with the situation.

  • Michael

    Desert Island Discs–“are you going to take your bible with you?”
    David Walliams– “Computer says no”

  • Alun

    I wonder if good old Harvey Smith followed up that outburst with his trademark two-fingered salute. Hope Roy Plomley was amused.

  • Urmensch

    I might bring it along if there are cannabis plants growing on the Island.
    I wouldn’t use it for toilet paper though, too scratchy.

  • Peter

    Very funny.