Australians are safer in strip joints, gay clubs or brothels than in churches

Australians are safer in strip joints, gay clubs or brothels than in churches April 12, 2010

NEW figures released in Australia indicate you may not be as safe in a church as you are at a strip club or in a brothel.
The latest data, compiled by the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research, showed 1,600 people were charged with committing a range of 27 offences in the state’s “places of worship” in 2008.
But the figures showed only 282 people were charged in premises classified as adult entertainment with the same offences.
Bureau director Don Wedderburn said the data showed people were just as likely to be assaulted or robbed in the sanctity of a church as they were on the streets.

An Australian strip club waitress

Most people would think of churches and synagogues as sanctuaries in society. But maybe that’s naive, because the statistics show they are likely to rob, assault or steal from people there like anywhere else.

A breakdown of the figures showed that 85 people were assaulted in places of worship, compared to 66 at an adult entertainment premises.
According to this report, places of worship include churches, synagogues, monasteries, mosques, convents, cathedrals and chapels.
Premises listed under adult entertainment included strip clubs, sex shops, brothels, massage parlours, gay clubs, gaming houses as well as gambling clubs.
Places of worship were also ahead on sexual offences (16), theft from motor vehicles (33), resisting arrest (seven) and liquor offences (10).
Harassment and threatening behaviour at places of worship (30) was more than double that of adult entertainment (13).
Two people were charged with possessing or using marijuana in places of worship. The figure was a 90 per cent decrease on the previous year, when 20 people were charged with the offence.
Only one person was charged with the offence at an adult entertainment premises in 2008.

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  • William Harwood

    I’d be willing to bet that there is also less likelihood of being godphuqt in a strip club than in a church.

  • Broadsword

    These are interesting figures. I suppose it’s not that surprising when so many of the mentally ill are gathered together.
    I assume the adult entertainment establishments were serving booze. Despite this, their patrons were still better behaved than the religiots.

  • Skimmer

    These are absolute numbers. Are you making any allowance for the volumes?
    More guys drink themselves to death in China than in Ireland, but not in percentage terms!
    To make a statement of comparative safety you need to give the percentage chance of coming to harm, something these figures are unlikely to support.

  • Mel

    As amusing as this is, Skimmer makes a very valid point.

  • Stuart H

    The figures for harassment and threatening behaviour probably don’t even include sermons and taking up a collection before you’re allowed out again.
    When you think that Christians often hand over 10% of their income that’s quite a protection racket going on. Makes gangsters running dodgy clubs look a bit minor league really.

  • Broga

    What about bribery? They had a wonderful scam going on this in the past. Give us loadsa money and we will let you do what you like and keep you clear of hellfire including whatever you do in the future. Or is that blackmail? Or threatening with menaces? Then there is offending against the Advertising Standards Authority rules as in telling mothers that their babies, dying before they had the magic water splashed on them, were headed for a long spell in Purgatory. The mum, agonised at the suffering of their little mites, were upset when the Pope decided there is no Purgatory.
    I don’t know the details of this. Whether he said there never was a Purgatory. Or decided the whole arrangement was too much trouble and abolished it.

  • gruntled atheist

    Australians are safer in strip joints, gay clubs or brothels than in churches
    Probably happier too!

  • Angela_K

    And the whingers who whine “without religion there are no morals” are…..?

  • William Harwood

    Correction: the papacy has abolished Limbo from its version of Cloud Cuckoo Land, not Purgatory.

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  • Amy

    The director of the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research is Don Weatherburn, fyi.

  • Broga

    @William Harwood. I thank you for the correction. I fear I am little the wiser but I now intend to find out. There is a fascination in these degrees of invented terror and, for some, infinite delight beyond understanding.
    Why any human sin, however terrible should justify an eternity of agony, or why any goodness should justify an eternity of delight we had perhaps better leave for another time. As indeed the arbitrary and fickle nature of the God Fairy’s judgements. I have to assume that Ratzi will think he is headed for heaven.
    Many thanks. I am glad to have been alerted to the difference.

  • Sgt. Obvious

    Like Skimmer said, I’m not sure this says what it sounds like. Does the study take into account the relative attendance? What about how many churches there are vs. how many strip clubs there are? What about income level in the vicinity of these places? Funny as it would be, there are just too many unknown factors for this to mean anything.

  • Liberty

    also, your more likely to get in trouble for smoking wacky backy etc. in a place if worship than in a strip club etc. theyre less likely to care in adult entertainment areas than they are in religious buildings, so statistucally your less likely to get in trouble.
    what does shock me is the amount of stuff that does happen in churches!! never trust old people…

  • Slartibartfast

    Skimmer – I think you might be surprised by the number of people attending strip clubs and brothels in this country compared to church. I’d be willing to bet that strip clubs, gay bars and brothels have much higher annual attendance!

  • NeoWolfe

    Well, let’s lay the cards on the table, men. When you’re young, you can really love your wife and children, but, given the opportunity, you will go watch some tits, and better yet, some bush in some club. Up close with cash in your hands. You don’t need to worry about the morality issue, because Ted Haggard already gave you a pass. 🙂
    But, now, I’m going to tell you the truth!!! Every time you see a perfect ski jump set of boobs and say “oh my god”, that is just a lie a hormone is telling you inside your brain. When you see a shaved pussie, and say “oh lord!!” again, another lie. You may be intoxicated by her tits, mezmerized by her labia, but you knock her up, you are a possession of the state. Guys, your nuts cause a ripple, but a tsunami returns. Word to the wise.

  • Harry

    How many of these acts of violence were between married couples?

  • JT

    While scrutinizing the underlying skewing factors of these numbers I’m surprised that no one mentioned the decreased likelihood of reporting crimes while visiting those establishments.
    Suppose you are out at a gay club and a drag queen makes off with your wallet. You have just been robbed and should report such things to the proper authorities. You dial the number but are struck suddenly with the realization that you are a conservative politician who earlier this week equated gay marriage to raping kittens to death in front of especially sad orphans so you hang up your phone quickly.
    Even though I doubt the authenticity of the claim, I wholeheartedly support its implications.