Did the earth move for you? Blame trollops wearing makeup and flimsy headscarves

Did the earth move for you? Blame trollops wearing makeup and flimsy headscarves April 18, 2010

A DERANGED senior Iranian cleric has claimed that “dolled-up women” incite extramarital sex, which in turns leads to more earthquakes in Iran.

Another goat-faced Muslim cleric spouts bollocks. Where on earth do they find these dolts?
Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told Tehran worshippers this week:

Many women who dress inappropriately … cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes.

He gabbled on:
Calamities are the result of people’s deeds. We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers.
The Islamic dress code is mandatory in Iran, which has been under clerical rule for more than three decades.
Every post-pubescent woman regardless of her religion or nationality must cover her hair and bodily contours in public. Offenders face punishments and fines.

But, according to this report, this has not stopped urban women from appearing in the streets wearing tight coats and flimsy headscarves and layers of skilfully applied makeup.
Iran is prone to frequent quakes, many of which have been devastating. The worst in recent times hit the southern city of Bam in December 2003, killing 31,000 people – about a quarter of the population – and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.
If the shameless hussy responsible for that disaster had been tracked down and punished, we would no doubt have heard about it by now.
We now eagerly await some cleric’s explanation for the annoying cloud of ash thrown up by a delinquent Icelandic volcano. A secular source, however, suggested to me that it was the result of a terrible misunderstanding. The “C” had been left off a message – “Send cash!” – which had been emailed in haste to the Icelandic authorities by the British government.
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  • Alan

    Well you did not have to wait for a quasi-religious loon to come up with an explanation for the Icelandic volcano. According to drug addict Rush Limbaugh it was God’s punishment for US health care legislation

  • Broadsword

    I like trollops.
    Tarts, the best!! Everyone loves sluts.
    Limbaugh looks dangerous in that pic. I’d be shepherding my kids away from him as I gave him the evil eye. Maybe saying in my regional dialect, “Who you fucking looking a’ “

  • Alan

    And you would be right not let your kids near him

  • AngieRS

    Not so different to the British loony tune vicar claiming floods in the UK were because of Gays. None of them are the full shilling, they just can’t be.

  • Broadsword

    I wonder if our species would have evovled had the dinosaurs not been so promiscuous when the asteroid struck 65M BCE? Them fuckers derserved payback!
    What lifeform on the face of the Earth had sinned so badly that Gawd saw it necessary to send the Late Heavy Bombardment about 4Bn years ago?
    I hate these twats who use religion to explain natural phenomena or, in this case, to force certain sections of their society to conform.
    I bet most imams are no better than PedoBear catholic priests anyway. Why are they allowed to marry twelve year old girls anyway? I think most of this is what they don’t like about themselves if they have the courage to look in the mirror.

  • Broga

    @AngieRS I think the vicar in question has his location in Carlisle Cathedral. He may have been the Canon or whatever. Or I may have mixed this up with the vicar/canon nutter in Carlisle who took exception to the display of a gipsy curse. (I am not making this up.) There are so many of these nutters.
    Anyway, I want to put a good word in for the sane people in Carlisle. I happened to be there after these religious madmen had pronounced. The comments I heard were that, “He is bonkers and doing no good to the reputation of Carlisle.”
    He may have had his supporters. If so, I didn’t come across any.

  • Uzza

    lemmme get this straight.
    (1)The Quran doesn’t tell women to wear beekeeper outfits, but it does say Allah will destroy places that don’t behave.
    (2) These loons make women cover up; and Iran is racked with earthquakes.
    Logically, therefore …

  • Japan must be a real swingers paradise! I’m moving there…

  • Aad Molenkamp

    Hey Broadsword! I do not like trollops. I do not believe that everybody loves sluts. My wife is no slut. She likes me. I like her.
    If she were a tart I would eat her. Women are good. You are an ASSHOle maybe??? Yeah………….

  • barriejohn

    There’s a joke doing the rounds now, which you may have heard already:
    “What’s the difference between the Icelandic volcano and Cheryl Cole?”
    “The volcano’s still blowing ash.
    ” (*Goes to bed*)

  • Broadsword

    @Aad Molenkamp
    I’ve been married 19 years. I love my wife, she loves me and that is why I’m the dad of three children.
    I was also single once and “tested the water” several times before I jumped in. Looks to me as if your experience of women is limited or there is some insecurity in your relationship.
    Lighten up.
    I imagine you’d be no fun on a boys night out.

  • Broadsword

    Cracking Icelandic joke.
    I’m passing it on.

  • barriejohn

    I posted a long reply to your earlier comment about the Plymouth Brethren, Broadsword, but it has disappeared again, so have a look at that thread some time tomorrow!

  • Broadsword

    Ta Barrie. I discussed the problems I had getting posted some weeks ago with the tech guy. It happened to me as well. It’s all about algorithms and filters and electronic morons.
    I know you’re not religious but I suppose it’s just your turn to be persecuted. When R2D2 learns once more you’re a good guy you can have a realtime discussion with your friends.

  • Aad Molenkamp

    You are right there Broadsword: I am no fun at a boys outing.
    I am no boy anymore. I am 66 years of age.That’s a problem, yeah.
    Lots of muslims are however daddies of lots of children. You have that in common with them boy. I wish you lots of fun with those boys.
    I myself have 6 grandchildren and only a few sexual problems.
    I do not like your trollops, sluts and whatever other names you want to give women. Don’t you understand that?

  • Broadsword

    Calm down.
    I’ve not come here fight over sluts. Those days are gone. Are you from Holland? If you lived closer to me I’d invite you out for a pint.

  • NeoWolfe

    The state of Alaska has more seismic activity, and more volcanos than any point on earth. Yet, it is the least populated, except for the polar icecaps. Those must be some horny settlers.
    The christmas tsunami that hit Indonesia, and killed 200,000 people, was an island group populated by 96 percent muslims. But, to be fair, it also hit Thailand which is 94 percent buddhist. Those muslims must have been lusting after those buddhist chicks.
    The typhoon in Myanmar killed 140,000 people, already desperately poor. Muslims claim that 20 percent of that population bow to Allah.
    What I am wondering, as I shake my head in disbelief, is why if the nation of Israel is such an abomination before Allah, why it isn’t a smoking caldera of fire, drowning in floods, crushed under mudslides, rocked with earthquakes, and smashed by horrible storms????
    So much for that theory. You muslims, go fuck whoever you want. Your god said so.

  • Broadsword

    I’ve often thought that Israel is the bulwark between the West, and the screaming hoardes of islam. Your government does not get the recognition it deserves for supporting them.

  • RussellW

    The explanation for the Icelandic volcano is obvious,some god or other is punishing Europeans for bullying the Icelanders over some minor problems with finance.

  • Broadsword

    Is it Thor, Odin or Lokki?
    Is Yggdrasil about to come crashing down? This must be Ragnarok unless some other faith can offer a better interpretation.

  • Broadsword

    You’ve come here and educated and entertained us regaeding the life you lead as one of the Brethren.
    I would suggest you’ve enough information to write a book.
    I would buy it.

  • William Harwood

    re Alaska, Iceland, etc: I seriously doubt that the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Pat Robertson and Sara Palin have the grey matter to see any significance in statistics that undermine their brainwashing, since they have shown no ability to question the proposition that 1 + 1 + 1 = 1.

  • NeoWolfe

    I certainly cannot speak for my government, but, I have always harbored an admiration for those pioneers who established and held the modern nation of Israel. An attitude of “take no shit from anyone, even if you are alone”. And despite current policy, during the battle of the Suez, America shit on the Jews and went neutral. The Israelli’s had to go to France to build an airforce.
    Israel is a secular state, a western civilization, and have endured unspeakable cowardly attacks, and my heart goes out to them. But, I also have to say that Netanyahu and his plans for settlements into Palestinian Jerusalem is fanning the fires of war. I used to think he was a straight talking, clear thinking individual, but it seems like he’s forcing a military show-down. Maybe he’s trying to goad Iran into an unfortunate act of vengeance. All I know is a lot of people who love their parents or their kids are going to die horribly. I don’t like it.

  • RL

    Wouldn’t there me more earthquakes around US co-ed dorm rooms if this were true?

  • RussellW

    Good question,although it probably doesn’t matter-I believe the sacrifice of 7 extremely attractive virgins(21 or older) to the volcano is the traditional way to solve the problem. (On second thought I hope it’s not Lokki,you can never trust the bastard, he’d probably just grab the virgins and run).
    If it’s Ragnarok,it’s a pretty piss-weak effort, Hollywood does it much better.

  • Hey Mowgli, still awaiting that ‘tune up’ you promised me.

  • Broadsword

    At least Nordic myth hasn’t been promoted to the level of “credible” religion so remains just a cracking read.
    I got my window on their world from the book, “Viking, Hammer of the North”, by Magnus Magnusson.

  • Janstince

    I’m voting for virgin sacrafice, but instead of attractive women, let’s use priests. They’re all supposed to be virgins anyway, and maybe instead of seven, we should just throw in one a minute until the volcano goes back to sleep or we run out of priests. Then we could move to other holy men, as it seems to me that the gods would appreciate a holy man or woman being sacrificed in their honor more than a potentially useful member of society.

  • Broadsword
  • gsw

    If the shameless hussy responsible for that disaster had been tracked down and punished, we would no doubt have heard about it by now.
    But we have and she was, it is Al-Lat, totally pissed off that Mo’s followers smashed her idol and replaced it with the Al-Lah meteorite!
    She has been causing the Earthquakes in the Islamic world for 1400 years now.
    Only solution, put her back in Mekka! Make women equal again and stop putting down sex and the female gender!
    Or of course, I could be wrong and it is Isis?

  • RussellW

    My window was “Gods and Myths of Northern Europe” by H. R. Ellis Davidson. Recommended.
    @ Janstince,
    Yes,excellent suggestion,however, given the repugnant behavior of some of the Catholic clergy, I’m not sure whether the Old Gods would accept them. Perhaps we could sacrifice them to the God of Reason instead.

  • sailor1031

    Broadsword: the midgard serpent woke up and broke a little wind. what’s all the fuss?

  • Heather Flight

    I’d like to get my hands on the slappers who caused the ash cloud!

  • Stonyground

    What we are seeing here is a pre-scientific revolution mindset. The modern scientific revolution had its beginnings around 500 years ago and I would say that as far as establishing a rational naturalistic world view, the more enlightened among us had completed the process by the end of the nineteenth century. This is not to suggest that there was not still a great deal still to learn.
    The problem is that the world is still infested with people who have yet to catch up with even the rational thinkers of 110 years ago. The other thing worth noting is the god in the mirror. This cleric’s god apears to be an uptight, tiny minded, ignorant fool.

  • barriejohn

    Stonyground: The Bible has things arse about tip. Sadly, God was created in the image of man.

  • MrGronk

    No no no, people, Iceland is doing an insurance scam. They’ve gone bankrupt, and now they’ve set the island on fire. Pretty obvious.

  • bardhi

    an Italian theologian said: Volcanic CLOUD Europe, a punishment from God

  • Here we are in the 21st century and there are still people who seriously believe earthquakes and other natural disasters are caused by magic fairies having temper tantrums over women who aren’t wearing enough clothing.

  • NeoWolfe

    Stony said:
    “The modern scientific revolution had its beginnings around 500 years ago”
    Okay, yet the pyramids were built, the most conservative estimate, about 3000 years ago. We still don’t understand how they transported and lifted the enormous blocks of stone into place. We could go into pre-Columbian cultures in central and south America, and what they achieved, but let’s skip it because readers lose interest. My point is that there were some bright son’s of bitches, not only designing those structures, but executing it’s construction. Knowledge of friction and leverage.
    500 years puts us back to the Ottoman empire, muslim, who really invented steam power and hydraulics. But, scientific genius dates so far back, we cannot accurately measure it. Where do you get 500 years? When Europeans finally got a clue, and either bought or stole the technology during the crusades? Each to his own interpretation.

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