Warfare in the Anglican Church – and a Catholic archbishop gets a pie the face

Warfare in the Anglican Church – and a Catholic archbishop gets a pie the face November 9, 2010

THE row over female clergy in the Anglican Church just got more bitter, with the Bishop of Lewes warning that there was:

Real serious warfare just around the corner.

The Bishop of Lewes, Wallace Benn
Speaking at the Reform conference of conservative Anglicans in Hoddesdon, Hertfordshire, the  Rt Rev Wallace Benn declared:

I’m about to use an analogy, and I use it quite deliberately and carefully. I feel very much increasingly that we’re in January of 1939. What we must not do is create a phoney war, but we need to be aware that there is real serious warfare just around the corner.

Christina Rees, of Women and the Church (Watch), said the bishop’s views were “demeaning”
The bishop said he had intended his comments to be “Churchillian”. A statement issued from his office read:

He said that the situation in which we find ourselves in the Church feels like people probably felt as they viewed the year ahead in January 1939. There are storm clouds on the horizon and warfare around the corner. We all hope and pray that it won’t happen.

Meanwhile, it is reported that five Anglicans – three serving assistant bishops and two retired – are to join the Roman Catholic Church under a Vatican scheme intended to provide a welcome for pissed-off Anglicans.
The serving bishops are the Bishop of Ebbsfleet, the Right Reverend Andrew Burnham; the Bishop of Richborough, the Right Reverend Keith Newton; and the Bishop of Fulham, the Right Reverend John Broadhurst.
They will be joined by the former Bishop of Richborough, the Right Reverend Edwin Barnes, and the former Bishop of Ballarat in Australia, the Right Reverend David Silk.
In a statement, the five bishops said:

We have been dismayed, over the last 30 years, to see Anglicans and Catholics move further apart on some of the issues of the day.

They said the Vatican’s proposal for the new structure was:

Both a generous response to various approaches to the Holy See for help and a bold, new ecumenical instrument in the search for the unity of Christians.

Bishop Burnham told the BBC that the decision was not just about the issue of women bishops.

It’s about whether the Church of England, as it’s always claimed to be, is faithful to the undivided Church of the first thousand years and faithful to its faith and orders – or whether it feels it can make things up and change things as it goes.
And, increasingly, over the last few years, it has acted as though it is autonomous in these matters and can make things up as it goes and women bishops is simply the latest example of that.

Bishop Broadhurst said he was:

Moving against the backdrop of a deteriorating situation within the Church of England.

Through gritted teeth, and most likely thinking “good riddance”, the beleaguered Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan (Dumbedore) Williams, said:

The Archbishop of Canterbury

I have today with regret accepted the resignations of Bishops Andrew Burnham and Keith Newton who have decided that their future in Christian ministry lies in the new structures proposed by the Vatican.
We wish them well in this next stage of their service to the Church and I am grateful to them for their faithful and devoted pastoral labours in the Church of England over many years.

Finally, we learn that the ultra-conservative Archbishop André-Joseph Léonard, the embattled leader of Belgium’s Roman Catholics, got himself entartéd (pied) while conducting a service.
He was hit in the face with the pie by a young man dressed in black during an All Saints Day service last Monday in the cathedral in Brussels.
RTL television quoted diocesan spokeswoman Claire Jonard as saying:

The archbishop continued the service and did not want to file charges against the aggressor. We have no idea who it was or what his intentions were.

Hat tip: John M White (for the Anglican reports) and Anonymous, for the pie story.

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  • Broga

    I don’t understand why they don’t get in touch with the Sky Fairy and ask for guidance. It could state which was the true faith. Or what about the bible. They seem to rely on that for all kinds of things with certainty. If they don’t know what to decide on this then it doesn’t suggest much confidence in getting other issues right.
    As for poor old Rowan Williams, how can he wish them well in departing for a sick and devious outfit headed by that planetary disaster Ratzy.
    You would need a heart of stone not to laugh.

  • Stuart H.

    The ‘entartement’ was caried out by the International Patisserie Brigade, a group of Belgian anarchist jokers started by a guy called Noel Godin to ridicule world figures who take themselves too seriously. Previous successful targets include Bill Gates and Sarkozy. If you can read a little French you can find their official report of the incident at http://www.gloupgloup.be/gloup.php?page=accueil&id=522.
    I gather that (1) no organic pie ingredients were hurt during the incident (2)they’ve been working on a plan to splat a pope for a while and (3) they’d be quite happy to see autonomous cells elsewhere.

  • chrsbol

    or whether it feels it can make things up and change things as it goes.
    Make things up surely not! Leaving one bunch of notrights and joining another…….what will they be then? “The nearly catholics”

  • Lucy

    ‘whether it feels it can make things up and change things as it goes’
    why not? every other church does! they need to check their church history and see how much is made up and changed at every stage….

  • The Woggler

    These religionistas just love a bit of war, don’t they? Will this be the first one since the Trojan War that one will be fought over women?

  • Pete H

    Haha, fantastic.
    Not many better sights than religious folk arguing amongst themselves over what their sky fairy really wants.
    *agrees with Lucy over the “making things up” comment*

  • Newspaniard

    HeHeHe “Entartment” a great new word. Hope the OED accepts it. On further thought, I hope the papacy accepts it too.

  • Neuseline

    Great choice of the archbish’s photo.
    Have these anti-women-bishops CoE noodles considered the feelings of their wives, I wonder. In the arms of the Catholic church, run by a gang of misogynists, their status will be nil. Would they be allowed to divorce their errant spouses?

  • AngieRS

    Nice Entartment. Not with quite the same flair as the Phantom Pie Flinger but it’ll do! 😀

  • elainek123

    Great photo. Would you buy a bible from this man? Is the Archbishop slowly making himself look like a god.
    Great news the Churches are getting worried.
    Of course there would be no Bishops etc if there were no women.
    I wonder what their mothers if still alive would think of their little boys now.

  • chick-a-boom

    As far as I can see, schism is the natural progession for any religion. Sooner or later an issue arises on which the believers disagree. There is no way to resolve the difference, since each person takes whatever position feels right and all others are wrong. In this choice they are not guided by any divine being; instead they are guided by conscience which comes down to the individual mixture of nature and nurture that makes up each one of us. It is as divine as random noise.
    This is how religions evolve. The new offshoots are in competition for limited resources – ie believers and their money – and it is all quite Darwinian. How ironic is that.
    The comparison with science is interesting. The key difference is that in science, there is a way to resolve such differences of opinion, namely experiment. As a consequence, we only have one science. If experiment ceased to work consistently, science would fall apart too.

  • Pete H

    @ Angie
    It was the Phantom Flan Flinger! 😀

  • Does anybody really give a fuck? I mean, really? Who cares if the Anglican church is in crisis?

  • Broga

    These guys take themselves very seriously. They would never think that the rest of us don’t give a toss. Wallace Benn looks like a man who feeds well: pink fleshy face and accumulation of fat under his chin. He should be OK in Ratzy’s outfit as the top honchos mostly seem avoirdupoise challenged. Recent luxury living in top hotels paid for, without a by your leave by UK taxpayers. They leave the enforced dieting to their skinny victims scratching a living from rubbish tips.
    Rowan Williams looks like a man who is looking to the Sky Fairy for help and it isn’t there. Shame Rowan couldn’t summon up the balls to say what he really thinks. It definitely isn’t the whiny, pleading thanks for your work and best wishes to that bunch of woman hating religionuts.

  • Marcus

    Wouldn’t you think that if there really was a god he’d be knocking a few heads together right now and saying (in a big, angry, almighty kind of voice), ‘No, no, no! This is how I want it to be, you fuckwits!’
    But no. He doesn’t. Because he isn’t there.

  • David Anderson

    “I left the Church of England because there was a huge bundle of straw. The ordination of women was the last straw, but only one of many. Foryears I had been disillusioned by the Church of England compromising on everything. The Catholic Church doesn´t care if something is unpopular.” Anne Widdecome.
    It´s bad enough that these woman hating religionuts (Broga) seek to marginalize women but when a woman joins in it´s beyond belief. I like the last line, “The Catholic Church doesn´t care if something is unpopular.” We know Anne, we know.
    BTW Williams isn´t looking for God. He´s wondering if he should trim his eyebrows.

  • AngieRS

    @ Pete, yep, you’re right but the sentiment remains the same. Don’t know how I could misremember that though, I’m in a right tiswas now. Lol

  • Stonyground

    It seems strange that those within the CofE are unable to see how utterly irrelevant their squabbles are to us, the residents of reality land. The issue of sex discrimination was sorted out decades ago in the real world and yet there are some within the Church who are still unaware that their side lost.
    “The Catholic Church doesn’t care if something is unpopular.”
    The RCC also doesn’t care if there are very good reasons for that something to be unpopular. Sticking by one’s principles can be an admirable thing to do, if those principles are sound and genuinely worth defending. What the RCC has is blind dogmatism which is not the same thing at all. It would appear that Anne Widdecome is incapable of telling the difference.

  • barriejohn

    “You see, I like Catholic Bishops, and I like Anglican Bishops as well, but which is better? There’s only one way to find out…”

  • revjimbob

    “I feel very much increasingly that we’re in January of 1939. What we must not do is create a phoney war”
    The phoney war was the period between the start of the war in September 1939 and the fall of France in 1940.
    Silly bugger.

  • “[T]he Church feels like people probably felt as they viewed the year ahead in January 1939. There are storm clouds on the horizon and warfare around the corner…”
    Well, quite. Who wouldn’t agree that a C of E kerfuffle over female pastors is completely analogous to the most destructive war in the history of mankind?

  • Broga

    This really is puerile nonsense. These dotty bishops attempting to turn the clock back by demeaning women and, an example of how detached they are from reality, thinking that any fair minded or half decent person would care what they did. Who the hell do they think they are to set themselves up as superior to so many gifted women? Do they have any environmental concerns? If they did then they can forget them as Ratzy is determined to see the 9 billion people already wrecking the planet increase without limit.
    Have they any humanitarian concerns? If so, again forget them as Ratzy the liar insists that condoms will not help prevent the spread of Aids. Better a woman should die in childbirth than have an abortion. And Ratzy is up to his sticky fingers in keeping his thousands of paedo priests from justice.
    Shouldn’t the Archbishop of Canterbury have been using these facts against these clown rather than is supine readiness to thank them and wish them well?

  • barriejohn

    Postman: To these poor souls the goings-on in their religious orders are the most important events in the entire universe!

  • Carasek

    Are not priests, bishops and the like employees of their respective churches? If so, how come they don’t have to abide by anti-discrimination law like all other employers out there? Do they get out of it by not allowing women to attain the necessary self-serving qualifications or something?
    Other than the usual exemptions that seem to apply to religiots for no good reason, of course…

  • barriejohn

    They have exemptions, as you suspect, Carasek, carried forward from 1975 – or maybe that should read 600BCE:
    (“Thinking Anglicans” – you couldn’t make it up!)

  • Etienne

    The pie in the face is a well-deserved Divine justice to one who is a mean professional nonsense teller.
    Should have been done earlier.
    Could be done again with different flavors (cream, cream and fuits, cheesecake…Name it)